Her parents passed away when she was a baby. They died in a car accident on their way to the new living place with little Seulgi in her mother’s embrace. Seulgi survived, she lived. But, her parents did not.

People said, Seulgi was cursed; they said, there were some spiritual—demonic factors inside Seulgi that made her closest ones die. Being different was the cause. There was a very kind lady; she treated Seulgi as her own daughter. She watched Seulgi grew up. Until one day, on Seulgi’s eighth birthday, she passed away. Seulgi could not stop the society’s judgments. She was still a kid. Living in a not-so-big town, the government heard about Seulgi and decided to take a good care of the poor little girl from afar. He brought Seulgi into a great, well-known school; he also gave her foods and money.

But, that was actually a lie.

When Seulgi reached ten, she started to notice that there were weird creatures around her—in this world. This creature had a form of a human, but it was not. A lot of people died because of the certain creatures were everywhere; they killed—ate human. People called them as Ghoul.

The government needed more soldiers, she thought. That was why she was brought into a special school, for the CCG—Commission of Counter Ghoul— because the government wanted her to fight. It was okay to lose a kid without any parents or relatives; those words lingered inside Seulgi’s head every day.

The environment did not stop Seulgi to grow up as a bright person. She learnt to be happy and mature. She tried to smile even though she still had no friend. Even though it was just a mask.

She cried every night in her empty apartment, where no one could hear her pain. She endured the pain she got every time her schoolmates marked her as a monster. 

She never really found her happiness, until she met Bae Irene.

Irene was really a social butterfly; she wanted to talk to Seulgi, even if it was just a simple greet. But again, the fortune did not choose Seulgi.

It was obvious that Irene had a crush on the idol of the trainees in CCG.

 

Son Wendy.

 

Wendy was talented, and very beautiful. But, she was very cold.

Seulgi knew that Wendy also lost her parents when she was a kid; she assumed that it was the thing that turned Wendy into a cold person. Seulgi shrugged it off and smiled.

“Must be nice, having a lot of people around you when you need them,” she mumbled whenever she watched Wendy being surrounded by people who liked her.

Seulgi and Wendy were similar, but also different at the same time.

That was why Seulgi wanted to beat Wendy in everything. It started when she knew that she would be in the same team with Wendy, and also…Irene.

 

“From now, you will gather as a team. This team sets permanently, so, you—along with your teammate should be together in every single thing.” The teacher said.

 

After that, Seulgi kept glancing at the girl who sat right beside her. It was no other than Irene. Surprisingly, for Seulgi, Irene noticed. The girl turned her head to Seulgi with a small smile. Not a good smile, but the smile that drew an expression of disagreement. Seulgi bit her lip and smiled, just like how she usually did. But, she also felt stupid.

Because she thought Irene was nice.

 

+++

 

Seulgi felt a lot better after years. She had companies; though sometime, they did not seem to notice Seulgi’s existence.

That was the reason why Seulgi always tried her best to be the best.

When she heard Irene said that the CCG recommended Wendy to be in the higher class than them, she was mad.

“Are you serious? Isn’t she in the same age with us?” Her eyes widened when those information came out from Irene’s mouth.

The other girl nodded, her eyes were bright as she kept telling Seulgi about Wendy. “I know right? She is smart. That’s why she got recommended.”

Fist clenched when Seulgi noticed how excited Irene was when she talked about Wendy.

“Irene…”

When the latter spun her head around, Seulgi stood up from the bench they were seated. “What is it, Sseul?”

“I will be better than Wendy,” her eyes pierced on Irene’s. “Just watch me.”

She left Irene by the end of her words.

 

When Seulgi said that she would. She meant it.

Seulgi was always be the one who slept while they were in class, she had never been on time in her life. But that did not mean she could not chase Wendy; did not mean she could not be the best.

She was now in the same grade with Wendy. Also, she got called as the strongest trainee of CCG. Seulgi got a lot of people who liked her and admired her. People started to acknowledge her existence.

 

+++

 

Seulgi quietly ate her lunch as she watched the kids who would soon become soldiers. She smiled; she remembered that she was also still a little kid when the government brought her into CCG.

“Unnie!”

Seulgi put her spoon down and turned her head to her right side. She found a little girl with pigtailed hair near her table.

“Can I help you, little girl?” She smiled.

“Are you Kang Seulgi?” the little girl said. Seulgi nodded and caressed her hair. Not so long after that, another little girl who looked slightly older than the first one came as she hit the younger’s head.

“I told you to stay beside me! What if you get lost?”

Seulgi raised her hands in front of her chest to stop the little girls in front of her. “Don’t be like that, kids.”

The older one spun her head to Seulgi, and her eyes grew wider.

“Whoa! You are Seulgi unnie!” She bowed. “I’m Joy, and this is Yerim.”

Seulgi chuckled. “You both are very cute.”

Yerim shouted, “we want to be strong like Seulgi unnie!” Joy agreed and nodded.

Seulgi was surprised, but she started to chuckle again. “You both will. Eat right, exercise, and be healthy.”

The two little girls bid a goodbye to Seulgi as they went back to their group of friends. Seulgi diverted her eyes back to her lunch. She smiled. That was weird when she told the two little girls to eat right, while she, herself tended to leave out—skipped her food. Sometime, she also threw her meals up. She always had a problem with her digestion; she had never eaten properly since she lived alone.

“You still have a habit to leave your brunch untouched.” She heard a scoff, “I’m not surprised.”

Seulgi immediately looked at the source of the voice, “Irene?”

“Hi, stupid bear.”

Irene took a sit beside Seulgi.

“What are you doing here?” Seulgi sounded so confused that made Irene giggled.

Irene acted as if she was hurt by Seulgi’s question, “so you don’t think that I will be able to be in the same grade as you and Wendy, huh?”

Of course Seulgi would shake her head.

“I’m joking, stupid.” Irene hit Seulgi’s back and chuckled. “You have nothing to say?”

Seulgi shook her head; she was too busy admiring Irene’s beautiful face. Within six months, the latter could grow this beautiful than before.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Seulgi scratched her nape, “sorry. What did you say?”

Irene scoffed again. “I said…you don’t want to congratulate me or something? Geez, you still stupid as usual.”

“You can stop calling me stupid now.” Seulgi pouted. “Did you find Wendy, yet?”

Irene frowned. “No. Why?”

“I just thought you bumped to me while searching for Wendy.”

Seulgi said, being honest. She was never expecting that Irene would give her attention like she gave it to Wendy. But, Seulgi was also never expecting Irene would say, “no. I was searching for you.” The girl smiled and stood up. “Now that you mentioned it, we better go and find Wendy.”

Seulgi ran after Irene. “So, you were looking for me? On purpose?”

“Yes, silly. What’s wrong with that?”

Seulgi did not answer. She did not have energy to answer while all of her energy was used for her smile.

Irene was indeed nice.

And Seulgi cursed herself because she once stopped thinking that way.

 

+++

 

Their team stayed together as they reached their twenty. Being the first ones to get recommended. Of course they would be the ones who would graduate first among their friends.

The ghouls called them ‘The Holy Trinity.’ The three of them were strong that ghouls were afraid of them.

“Taeyeon’s team discovered a rare ghoul,” Irene said. “It’s one-eyed.”

“Human-Ghoul hybrid, what are those ghouls capable of?” Wendy asked.

“They are cannibal. Also, they are stronger than regular ghoul.”

Seulgi was watching her teammates being serious. She also knew about this rare ghoul, she had read about it before in the library—the place where she used to hide and spent her time.

“They forgot about me again.” She thought. Seulgi was trying to say her opinion this whole time. Unfortunately, Wendy and Irene had their own world. Kang Seulgi being herself, she just smiled; she decided to get some fresh air outside the CCG building. She went up to the rooftop—her second favorite place aside from the library.

Her stomach grumbled. It made her realized that she had not eaten anything yet, today.

“I should’ve took my lunch.” She chuckled at herself and sighed. Seulgi might not realize how long she had been on the rooftop. She tried not to care about it because she knew; she knew that no one would go to find her. Living in loneliness got her into a wrong mindset about most of the people near her. Little did she know that there were the people who really cared.

That was why Seulgi shocked when she saw someone was sitting beside her.

“Why did you vanish all of sudden?” the person said.

Seulgi smiled and shrugged, “you guys got it done already?”

The person shook her head, “we still can’t find out which organization those one-eyed ghoul are in, and also, the factor that changed them into ghoul.”

There was silence between them after Seulgi threw a nod to the latter.

“How’s your life lately?”

Seulgi chuckled. “Why do you want to know?”

“Just wanted to break this weird atmosphere between us.” She shrugged. “Although I always know.”

The last sentences took Seulgi’s attention to look at that person. “What do you mean…?” Seulgi lifted an eyebrow, “…Wendy?”

Wendy smiled. She made Seulgi even more confused because it was the first time Wendy smiled so genuinely to her. Instead of answering, she got up and made some steps to walk away. But after a few steps, she stopped and said, “You probably don’t notice…” She waited Seulgi to stand in front of her. “But I always get my eyes on you, Kang Seulgi.”

Seulgi did not say anything; she didn’t need to. That night made her realized that from now on, she had to protect people…especially Wendy. Because, Wendy was her best friend.

 

+++

 

“District 9 to District 5, there are ghouls heading to the town. I repeat, there are ghouls heading to the town. Do you copy?”

 

“Roger that.” Wendy said.

“I will let the others know about this. Seulgi, Irene, you guys go to the location first with team ten and twelve.”

Both of the girls nodded as they did what Wendy told them, immediately.

“Don’t forget your quinque.” Irene said to Seulgi before she threw a suitcase to the latter.

“Thanks.” Seulgi said.

 

+++

 

They arrived at the frontier between the districts and the town. Seulgi saw a lot of CCG’s cars in front of her, but she saw no Wendy, yet.

“Jessica’s team is fighting with the Aogiri.” Taeyeon said as soon as she saw Seulgi and Irene. “It turned out that the one-eyed ghouls are on their side. Kai is doing an identification on them.”

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Irene yelled as she pulled her quinque out.

“Irene!” Seulgi shouted, “that girl…” She groaned before she pulled her quinque.

Seulgi saw Irene at the front of the line; she might look like a weak girl. But, Seulgi knew better. Irene was stronger than her. A bunch of huge ghouls were coming towards them, Seulgi decided to search where they are coming from when she saw Wendy arrived. She knew that her act could kill her. But, she made a promise with herself that she would protect everyone. She heard Wendy shouted her name, but she did not turn her back.

“I’m sorry, Wendy. We can’t fight together this time.” Seulgi mumbled with a smile on her face.

Seulgi had not gone so far when she brought her body back to a hallway she passed earlier.

She widened her eyes when she saw a one-eyed ghoul lying down against the wall. He was dying.

The ghoul sensed Seulgi’s existence, he made turn with her head.

“A CCG agent,” he chuckled before letting out a bloody cough. “Just finish me already, I’m dying anyway.”

Seulgi did not do what he said. Instead, she walked closer to him. “Who did this to you?”

“Aogiri.” He said. “I wish my kids are okay.”

Seulgi bit her lip, “You are not from Aogiri?”

He shook her head, “Anteiku.” He said. “We fight to protect human.”

“So, the Anteiku is real.” Seulgi said in disbelief.

When she was a kid, she read a lot about Anteiku, the ghoul that protected human from being eaten by the other ghoul.

“Of course, kid.” He inhaled a lot of air. “I smell ghoul in you. It smells familiar.”

Seulgi was about to deny, but the old ghoul made her shut immediately. “Kang Daesung. You smell like him.”

“K-Kang…Daesung?” Seulgi felt her eyes got teary when she heard that name. The name of her father.

He nodded.

“You knew him? He…” Seulgi gulped. “He was a ghoul?”

The old ghoul let out his last nod before he completely died.

Seulgi had not moved an inch; she pulled her head in frustration.

“How…how can this be?” She cried.

If she did not hear the voice from her earplug, she would probably forget her main reason why she separated herself from her group. She ran as fast as she could, her hand touched her face to wipe the tears away.

Seulgi could be said that she was too late. She saw corpses everywhere, on the ground. She saw nothing but the people she used to know, were drowning in their own blood. She saw a ghoul, proudly stood with her kagune with her. She watched it when the ghoul stabbed the tip of her kagune right on a soldier’s chest that made his heart jumped out and landed in front of Seulgi.

Seulgi’s eyes widened, she wanted to scream but gave in. She glanced at the ghoul who started to make her way to Seulgi. She saw another CCG soldier who tried to run but failed because the ghoul just sliced him in front of Seulgi. His blood was over Seulgi’s body. That was when Seulgi could not hold it anymore. She fell on her knees, and started screaming. Not a scream that she was afraid. But, a scream that expressed her sadness;

Her failure—because she could not protect the people. That did not end there. Seulgi screamed even louder when she saw her reflection on the blood of pool. Her right eye were changing, her black orb turned into red as her eyeball became black.

Ghoul’s eye.

That was the first thing came into Seulgi’s mind when she saw it. Her ghoul body gave a response when the blood touched her skin.

“Another one-eyed ghoul?”

Seulgi lifted her head when she saw the ghoul that just killed the soldiers stood in front of her. She her lips. “You look delicious.”

Seulgi did not run away, she stayed on the ground as she closed her eyes, waiting for the certain ghoul to kill her.

After a few seconds, she had not feel the pain. Seulgi opened her eyes she once again lifted her head. Her eyes grew wider than usual when she saw a kagune torn the ghoul’s body. She could see the ghoul’s organs, clearly.

“H-How—“ the ghoul’s word was stopped when she exhaled her last breath. Seulgi’s body was trembling so hard that she found out, her kagune was the one who killed the ghoul.

“Seulgi.”

She gasped when she heard a familiar voice on her earplug.

“W-Wendy?”

“Go to the vending machine in front of the train station, meet me there.”

Seulgi did not waste any time, she did not even think about her appearance that moment. She ran to the place where Wendy was.

She panted when she reached the vending machine. She looked around but could not find her best friend. Seulgi spun her head when she heard some steps.

“Seulgi? Are you with Wendy now? She said that she wanted to help you earlier.” This time, it was Irene’s voice that was speaking.

“Yes,” she watched the girl in front of her, “I’m with her.”

Wendy walked a little bit closer to Seulgi and smiled genuinely. “I see, you finally find your true self.”

Seulgi did not need time to realize what Wendy was actually talking about; she covered her right eye with her hand and looked at the ground before she started crying.

No one was speaking.

Not until Wendy said, “I knew.”

Seulgi’s sob stopped, she was trying to figure out what the latter was saying.

“I always knew,” Wendy took another step to Seulgi. “That you are different.”

Seulgi found a fresh smile from her best friend when she lifted her face. Wendy chuckled.

“You threw up after you ate your food, you only drink water, or coffee.” Wendy stopped, “isn’t that obvious enough?”

Seulgi bitterly smiled her eyes went back to the ground.

“Speaking about coffee,” Wendy reached something inside her pocket. “Catch!”

Seulgi caught a warm can of coffee. She heard a click and she saw Wendy opened her own can.

“Wendy, I don’t think it’s the time to—“

“I know,” Wendy cut her off. “I know, Seulgi.” She brought herself closer to the wall and sat on the ground with the wall as her support. She patted the empty spot beside her. Seulgi followed her; her eyes never left the shorter girl.

She opened her can and took a sip. There was silence between them.

Wendy killed that silence again by resting her head on Seulgi’s shoulder. “You know that I always get my eyes on you, right?”

Seulgi nodded.

She smelled something odd in Wendy, she decided to take a look a little closer to the latter as she found a big wound on Wendy’s abdomen.

“Wendy!” She threw her coffee away. But, Wendy, she only chuckled.

“It’s okay, Seulgi. I’m okay.” She brushed her thumb to wipe Seulgi’s tears. “I’m okay.” She repeated.

Seulgi bit her lip.

“Ah, you threw the coffee away.” Wendy tried to divert Seulgi’s attention. “What a waste.”

“Wendy, we should—“

“Is the coffee good?” She cut Seulgi’s off again. Seulgi did not answer, she was crying over Wendy.

Wendy shrugged. “I guess, I have to taste it by my own then.” She took a sip before she coughed along with a lot of blood from .

“I spit on you,” Wendy used her palm to clean her blood on Seulgi’s face. She sighed. “It’s too late, Seulgi.”

She smiled. “Can you get a little bit closer to me?”

Seulgi did not refuse; she brought herself closer to Wendy. She felt a pair of soft lips on her forehead.

“I've got my eyes on you. Always been.” Wendy giggled. She tried to stand up and walk. But, before she could take a step. She fell down. Lucky that Seulgi was there to catch her.

“I don’t have any energy left, Seulgi.” She said between her harsh breaths.

“No, don’t say that.” Seulgi cried.

“Seulgi, listen…” Wendy touched Seulgi’s right eye. She caressed it. “Bring me…to home…” That was Wendy’s last word before she completely gone.

Seulgi shook her head. She screamed with tears in her eyes. Too late. Wendy was gone.

Seulgi did not have any choice, except brought Wendy back. “Let’s go home.” She said as she embraced Wendy’s body tighter.

 

+++

 

“It’s over.” Irene sighed in relief after she shot a ghoul right in the head.

She was wrong. It was not over yet when she heard a scream from her soldier that got bitten by a ghoul.

“I’m going eat you! I’m going to eat you all!” The ghoul laughed, he moved her kagune that hit some of the soldiers near him. “You can’t run from me.”

“Eat this…” a soft whisper could be heard on his ears. He felt a pain when a leg landed on his back of head.

“Who’s that!?” He asked the same question as the CCG did. The ghoul searched for the one who attack him. Unfortunately, he could not continue what he was doing when he felt something sharp went to his heart. “You are to slow.” The attacker whispered again as he died slowly, then pulled her kagune from him.

“That was…” Irene widened her eyes. “Seulgi…” Irene mumbled.

Seulgi was calmly walking through the eyes that were watching her. She did not care. Her mission was bringing Wendy’s body.

She placed the body on the ground, in front of Irene. “I’m sorry. I was late again.” She said—whispered.

“Don’t!” Irene demanded when she saw the soldiers wanted to shoot Seulgi.

Irene lowered herself to see Wendy clearly.

“I have to go now.” Seulgi said.

“W-where are you going?” Irene said. But, she did not gain any answer from Seulgi.

Seulgi did stop, when she felt someone bumped her back. She heard a sob.
“Don’t you dare to leave, Kang Seulgi.” Irene said.

“Irene—“

“Wendy is gone. And now, you want to leave too!?”

Irene did not expect Seulgi to turn around and pulled her into a warmest hug. “I don’t belong here anymore.”

“What do you mean, Sseul?! You—“

“Bae Irene, can you see me!?” Seulgi pointed at her eyes. “I’m a ghoul.” She bitterly whispered between her tears. Irene did not stop when she pull Seulgi that their lips could meet.

She smiled after.

“I have to do that, if…it’s really the end.” She said. “I can wait no more.”

Seulgi could not say anything. She was staring at Irene who was trying to hold her tears.

“I have to go.” She held Irene’s hands. “I promise that I will protect all of you from now.”

And by the end of that, Seulgi let go of the latter’s hands. She walked away from the CCG spot.

“Kang Seulgi!”

Seulgi gasped, she stopped her step when she heard Kim Taeyeon—her senior’s voice. She turned around.

“Salute!” Taeyeon brought her hand near her head as a sign of respect, followed by the whole CCG.

Seulgi was smiling.

“You can comeback whenever you want.” Taeyeon said.

She did the same gesture as them as she took her delayed step.

 

+++

 

When people asked,

“What is the meaning of loneliness?”

 

Kang Seulgi could not help but smiling. She smiled, because she knew everything about loneliness. Not only the meaning of the word; but also the feeling of it.

 

That was true.

 

But when people asked,

“Why is she trying so hard to fight?”

 

Kang Seulgi let out another smile because she knew that her reason to fight was that she could protect people. And she would make sure it happened. Because once Seulgi said that she would…

 

She meant it.

 

 

 

 

a/n: I actually didn’t have any plan or desire to post this. Because this one was just my way to express my inner fangirl of Tokyo Ghoul and Red Velvet.

 

But…

 

Oh Well…

 

What can I do?

 

I will appreciate a lot of comments! Please, subscribe or upvote if you like this one! I also accept the ideas of what kind of oneshot that I should d next! Thank you :)

 

Until then, farewell.