A guilty lover....  I want to be with Lu! Right?... And this is the only way... I did it.. I killed him... So I must be with him.. He must be so lonely on the other side... No... He's probably happy with his parents.... I shouldn't bother them...  But then what the hell do I do? I need to be punished!.. I can't walk away.... I need someone to punish me... I'm too weak to do it myself... I'M TOO WEAK.... I'M A COWARD...   I felt warm tear