" When I was a kid, I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. I thought they were both pork chops. And because my grandmother thought it was cute and they were my favorite, she let me keep doing it. Not really a big deal. One day, before I realized fat kids weren't designed to climb trees, I fell out of a tree and bruised the right side of my body. I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it because I was scared I'd get in trouble for playing somewhere I sh