RAWR. Do they expect everyone to live in the States or what? I live in Berlin, by the way. *flaunts multi-cultural arrogance in front of the small-minded Americans*

WAIT! DON'T GO!

I'm quite about grammar (watch me make at least 10 embarrassing mistakes in this entry alone), so you grammar newbs better watch out. You think I'm joking? I know where you live, so don't fall asleep tonight.

I keed, I keed.

I think what annoys me the most is when writers interchange tenses. Example: He laid down his body, and gives himself to her. Her pulse quickens, and her breath had become shallower.

ACK. Just those two sentences make me want to punch my monitor. But I won't, because it's precious to me. Precious...yes, precioussss.

*clears throat*

Ah, so the point of this rant? Erm. Don't have one. I have a tendancy to ramble.

*echo, echo* I'm totally talking to myself, aren't I? Hellooooo, anyone there? No? I guess I'll go, then. *sulks off*

Wait, there's more? What's the difference between a personal message and...*squints because she's so old*...this "About me?" Am I supposed to tell you what I'm all about? Well then, kiddies, gather 'round, gather 'round. You shall now hear the grand tale of the great PenguinMaestro, a complete and riveting tale of heroes, princesses, tragic loves, and mighty dragons! Gather 'round, this story is for all to hear, from the small to the tall, young to old, the beautiful and the ugly! Dating back before your parents, grandparents, before your ancestors were even spared a thought! Come, and you shall experience the splendor of----

Huh? Oh, whoops. Got a little carried away there.

Well, you already know one thing about me. I have so much free time I spend it on entertaining you s (trying to).

I promise I'm not this much of an . Please don't hate me.

I LOVE YOU ALL. (No, I'm not a weirdo, either.)