❝Five things you would take to a deserted island—go. ❞

What? Oh, u-um...monkeys, Amir Blumenfeld, a banana, an oversized sweater—, I don’t know, 42?

❝Wow; wrong, you fat sack of . ❞

For your information, I have a very ually active mind for this ually unactive body.

❝Stop talking to yourself and get to the introduction. ❞

Pottasium. [ K ] Clever, right?

❝Sodium Hypobromite. [NaBrO ] ❞

►THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW

1.  Kangaroos never fart.
2.  The fear of going to school = 'Didaskaleinophobia'
3.  You're probably still 'it' from a few games of tag you played as a kid.
4.  'tacocat' spelled backwards is 'tacocat'
5.  Without the little voice in your head, you wouldn't have been able to read all of these.

►SONGS YOU NEED TO ING BLOW YOUR MIND WITH

1.  Details In The Fabric - Jason Mraz
2.  To Build A Home -Cinematic Orchestra
3.  Brick - Ben Folds Five
4.  Strawberry Swing - Coldplay
5.  Anything by Coldplay, actually.

►tOP 5 THINGS I SAY 'CAUSE I’M A PEASANT

1.  You ain't nothing, but a fart.
2.  I probably make too many jokes.
3.  Oh, who throws a shoe.
4.  I don't want to be normal anyway.
5.  God, I need to stop ing cussing.