You are falling apart, but you have others counting on you. You still have parts of him that love and depend on you. He can't risk falling apart. You are depending on him and he cannot under any circumstances afford to lose you.
A note from the founder: As the founder of Asianfanfics, I've met many wonderful writers on this site. As I've gotten to know them over the years, I've come to find that many of my friends here struggle to get by whether it be paying for school, everyday essentials, or what really gets to me, medical bills. After trying to see what could be done to help through crowdfunding, it became clear that dedicated crowdfunding platforms take out too much in fees. That's why I started this program just for authors so that they can receive the support they need without a middleman taking a chunk out of it. I wish you all luck in this and all of your other life endeavors and hope you all succeed.