Myungsoo as a dense guy instead of a cold one, interesting. XD I really love your writing style and the confession part really got me. I can't imagine if I was in her place. Awkward. XD
Anyway, can't wait to read more of it. Subscribed. ^^
His obliviousness makes him come off as innocent, which is completely different from his past image. I'm curious about what happened that made him decide to change for the better and why he turned out that way in middle school.
Airi is a total mystery. She comes off as being one of those characters who is hard to figure out. That's what makes a story interesting. This is unusual from what I've read in fanfics so far. The distant, cold gaze that she directed at Yooae had me wondering. It's like she's telling her to stay out of her business or back off. From the way that he asked Yooae about Airi's favorite color, it seems that Myungsoo is interested in her. It can be assumed that they're in a secret relationship as a possibility, but there's the probability of that not being likely since clues like that can be misleading when it makes no sense after giving it much thought. Because Airi seems worried about being found out by others (including Yoooae), the relationship she's in must be forbidden on school grounds. The "math classroom" hint is a giveaway, which makes me think of a certain teacher.
It's okay for the background to be plain. The readers are less likely to be distracted by it from reading the story.
Despite the mild mechanical errors, it's not hard to understand the point you're trying to get across in your writing. You can brush up on those. Reading more books in English helps.
I just came across this fic. The title caught my eye at first. It seems unique since I hadn't seen a story title like this before. Even before I started reading, I figured that the "cactus" is a the symbolic representation of the story's leading girl. After reading the first chapter, I felt compelled to read further. This isn't one of those cliche romance stories, which is a good thing. It does get tiring to see the similar, substanceless plot being overused that mainly focuses on the romance without character development--the driving force that pulls the story along. The unexpected twists that you added makes this more of your original work. The pacing is just right. I like how you portray the situations and the characters realistically without making it seem like a complete fantasy. There's no confusion while reading through the chapters.
For Yooae to be called a "cactus" by Myungsoo, she must be a person who's really hard to approach. She does have a bad temper that makes her give off a dangerous vibe (her metaphorical "spikes") when she flares up that it'd be best for people's safety, namely Myungsoo's, to not be near her in her state of rage. At times, I couldn't help but crack up at the stupidity of Myungsoo--like suggesting about being her practice partner. xD The part about him acting the role of the love interest's mother really kills me. Although he unintentionally hurt her with his words due to his obliviousness of things beyond the physical level, he manages to make up for it with his sincere apologies. That proves he's not heartless. His past experience as a gangster (rebel) explains his ability to appear as an intimidating, scary person in threatening or troubling situations. He does look fearless in the face of danger. Of course not everybody goes through a phase like that. It depends on the environment they grew up in that influenced them to choose their paths.
thishh , yes , THIS , is sooooooo SUPER DUPER ULTRA I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G ~~~~~ Cant stop pressing the next button and soon found out the sad thruth that there is no more next button ... >< Awwww... :)
YOUR CHAPTER TWO IS TOOOO AMAZING ! <3
One of my chapters also had that sort of ending (of a chapter) where the main character left _______ alone after a squabble xD
In my case, it was a noona and her dongsaeng xD
But your story is too good compared to some unprofessional, low quality work of mine !
UNNIE !!!!!! DO YOU REMEMBER ME ?! (ofcourse you don't)
BUT I CHANGED MY USERNAME !!!!!! (Originally MidnightSapphire)
This story (first chapter) of the main character reminds me a lot of myself ..... the way when your crush looks at you and smile and despite the fact that inside you are very happy and butterflies in your stomache ..... you still give him a cold aura and ignore him .......
Like what I did before to my crush .......
Aish, it's over a year since I liked him ...... >.<
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