i am, regretfully, a yunjae shipper. i do regret this because it’s just so ing basic lmao like ‘wow /of course/ the kpop rpf author ships yunjae, get in line’ BUT I DESERVE PITY NOT SCORN!!!

it goes like this:

in june 2020 when i was new to kpop and getting to know the group that would go on to become my kpop ults, super junior, it is invariable that i would come across the name tvxq/dbsk. it is impossible to mention one without the other (though cassies love to try). for as long as i’d heard of them, i had also known that there were originally 5; but i only knew the names of the two who were currently active. i didn’t even know what the other three looked like.

i was interested in getting to know them because my hobby is collecting old men boy bands—my ult ults are the backstreet boys 🖤💙—but then i watched them perform for the first time. ngl, i was supremely unimpressed. their vocal colour didn’t appeal to me, the songs weren’t to my taste, and there were only two of them. i mean, i knew there were only two of them, but seeing them perform together was so underwhelming because 98% of the stage were other people! that’s not what i want out of a boyband! i left them alone after that, disappointed with my findings, and concluded the experience with the passing thought that i thought uknow was cuter than max.

all of these opinions basically held until august 2022 when i learned jaejoong was having a comeback. this concept photo was released, and i was floored.

the fisheye lens, the jaunty tilt of the oversized square glasses, the yellow and green outfit (i have a soft spot for this colour combination due another ship in another old man boy band), the hair. from this image alone, i was able to intuit the same playfulness of super junior’s from which i benefit on the daily coupled with a distinctly indie feel that can only come from an artist who isn’t produced by one of the big 4. let’s not forget that despite the borderline-nerdy look, jaejoong still looks like a total babe.

it was love at first sight, honestly. i shamelessly preordered two copies of his album so that i could earn free posters and also enter the lottery for a video call even though i really knew nothing about him.

but i wanted to. and how did i learn? the same way i always do: via fanfiction.

i fully believe that fanfiction is the window to a fandom’s soul. a discerning reader can learn so much through the ways fans write about their idols, chief of which of course are the perceived strengths, weaknesses, and key points to an idol’s personality. this is evident in ‘canon’ fics (set in real life), but even AUs are prone to containing inside jokes for the fandom and other unwitting commentary. when i am truly dedicated to getting to know an idol, i start with fanfiction before i go to variety shows or their music.

we all know that kpop rpf is mostly filled with in-group shipping. member/reader and member/oc fics are not nearly as common (and i am not interested in those anyway, even if i didn’t have the primary objective of getting to know an idol). this means that i needed to pick someone to ship him with, and this decision was easy. my ships are almost always My Type 1 + My Type 2.[1] jaejoong is obviously My Type 1, and uknow, due to a lack of other options, was the only qualified person for My Type 2.

yes. that’s how my journey into yunjae fanfiction began. there was no other forethought into the decision. i had zero (0) clue going into this that i was stepping onto an unholy landmine of unresolved angst and mystery, and now i’m living with the phantom pain of my torn-asunder ignorance. this is why i deserve pity!!! such innocuous beginnings… alexa, play the first two verses of at the beginning by donna lewis and richard marx 😩

[1] i will provide a source when i can find one, but i came across the following schema for OTP types and i’ve found it incredibly accurate. i am sharing it for your edification. OTPs tend to fall in the following 4 categories: your type + someone you can project onto, your type 1 + your type 2, the two you perceive to be the hottest, the two you perceive to be the closest. most of my ships are archetype 2, but the rest of them are archetype 1.

published: 4.16.2024