line by line ▹ losing you▹square (2017) ▹ sober ▹ blue lemonade ▹ big chance ▹don't stop ▹ like me (prod. mokyo) ▹ dumb dumb ▹ good girls

devan has to be completely honest; kang hana was one of the easier SLJK trainees to handle, although sometimes she needs a bit of guidance here and there. hana and him naturally knew each other because there weren't much trainees at the time he entered the SLJK program and the fact that devan was close with liam and cam (not to forget, relatively close with kazu as well) helped hana get used to having devan around.

 

devan recalls the one time hana asked him if she should use soap to wash the vegetables when they were both going to cook for everyone. devan's used to it now, though so he's no longer surprised but gosh, there has been so many moments devan's heart drops or trembles whenever hana does her own "unique" shennanigans. hana sees devan as her own dad figure since well, technically, liam is the mom.

 

hana does raise her eyebrows when she sees devan becoming a mumbling mess around her, one of her close friends because devan shin never loses his cool so she enjoys picking on him whenever he does show such a shy side to him. the two as a pair of friends are gentle at heart even if their ways of teasing one another may be savage. beneath the odd questions hana asks him, she's a nice girl who cries in front of devan whenever she can't hold it anymore.

as the japanese trainees were brought in by mr. takashi sato recently, devan is still in the process of adjusting to the dynamics and personalities he brought with him. keiko was one of the trainees that screamed "different" to devan. despite her being a bit clumsy or ditzy at certain times, devan softens up and treats her like a younger sister most of the times (well, that is sort of his purposes as one of the hyung lines in SLJK, isn't it?)

since he's still getting to know keiko, devan's not quick to jump to conclusions and would like to just go with the flow. they do exchange greetings and may be captured in the same frame through the SLJK!TV camera lenses but they're a combination that is befitting of AWSAZ because there's not much that ties the two together except being close to kazu or hana or cam.

although, devan does find himself having to rush whenever kazu and cameron let her be. hopefully, once he's gotten the gist of who she is, he and keiko can unleash a chemistry that just screams "dorky" or "dumb or dumber" despite them usually keeping to their own familiar circles.

as a part of the SLJK program, devan should know the four directors behind the elite program and he does. especially, when one considers how old he is and how long he has been training at the agency. there was no possible way he doesn't know them.

MADAME KANG is the person devan wants to please and earn a praise or two from because she's the one in charge of the entirety of the SLJK program so she is the one who decides everything for the trainees. frankly, devan does not want her to see him as a lost cause who has been walking in place for eight years inside the SM training rooms. he wants to show her he's worth it and that he has a value that can do good for the debuting team's brand. madame kang, known for her stoic and nonchalant aura, does see devan as a "sore finger" (always makes her feel bad for all that he's done for the company) amongst the other trainees because she remembered the first time he greeted her as a new recruited trainee and he is perhaps one of the few older male trainees left in the whole roster. despite that, she keeps her decisions levelheaded and devan respects that in madame kang.

TAKASHI SATO is the one whose in charge of the japanese trainees and the japanese promotions of the teams (as well as TAROT and GEMS), making devan never not familiar with him unlike several of the teams who will be under his wing in their activities. though, he is sometimes rather taken aback when mr. sato approaches him first with a compliment or pat on the back. one time, he joked that devan had worked under SM longer than he has to which he could only smile.

KIM HEECHUL is in charge of concepts and experimentations of the SLJK trainee teams and through hyoyeon's slight bias for the male trainees, he favors the girls a bit more. heechul can't pretend like he hasn't bumped into devan a couple of times in the building. he would joke about staying away from him so that he wouldn't seem short and would never forget how he had once asked devan if eunhyuk was handsome or not (devan hesitated to say anything and heechul told eunhyuk, "well, that just answers the question, doesn't it?"). heechul, being very professional, gives devan a lot of different concepts which in turn makes devan quite competitive to be able to devour the diverse concepts. in return, devan has made several legendary covers amongst the SLJK trainees (anybody whose anybody in SLJK wouldn't forget the legend that is his covers of tvxq's "mirotic", shinee's "replay", miss a's "hush", red velvet's "one of these nights" and exo's "what is love"?)

KIM HYOYEON is the one whose in charge of monitoring the trainees during practices at certain times. devan, in shorter words, is quite intimidated by her aura when she's not with her members because wow, the charisma and nonchalance coming from hyoyeon is just immaculate. hyoyeon is tough on all SLJK trainees but more especially on devan (and everyone has noticed this) because of his experience being in the company should set him apart from the others. well, she was right and devan is one of the few that hyoyeon clearly picks out as an ideal for the other trainees. 

devan does not need much to say about his parents because they truly gave their best efforts so that he and daniella don't grow up in adversity. the siblings grew up well enough and devan, upon maturing miles and hours away in seoul from his family in vancouver, has come to realize how precious and admirable his parents actually were. he's come to realize the value of family and quality time after he's separated with them. being apart from them has always been tough on devan but he didn't want to return home failing to debut and make money for the family. devan loves them equally and he'll do whatever it takes to make them proud of him even if they reassure that whatever he does, they'll always be proud of him. of course, such words will never be enough to comfort devan's soul.

 

SIS DANIELLA SHIN ('95) 
the sassy miss girl of the neighbourhood, daniella is, for better or for worse, devan's sister. the two grew up getting on each other's nerves but also making sure that nobody messes with the other. daniella has her own ways to express herself to her brother but devan has gotten so used to it that he's no longer surprised. anyone who doesn't know them might think the two siblings don't get along when it's the exact opposite. daniella was perhaps the only one he was bluntly honest to about his life in seoul because despite how she is, she listens and doesn't tell. only after they're separated, does devan truly see and acknowledge how great daniella is as a sister because she's cool.

it is due to his long training period at the agency that devan has crossed paths with several of SM's current artists or even, formed deep and memorable bonds with them before they debuted ahead of him.

 

TVXQ everyone knows how passionate tvxq is, especially u-knnow yunho. devan grew up seeing them at their prime and to be frank, they still seem to be on their prime until today. like many singers in the industry, u-know yunho's passion and dedication in anything inspires himgreatly and he'd be more than happy to receive honest feedback or coaching from him. max changmin's more chilled out demeanour may deceive others, but devan could never ignore the fact that he always gets goosebumps when he hears him sing, especially when he hits the high notes.

remembering his long time spent at SM ent, devan does receive supportive text messages from tvxq who always seems to be keeping themselves up-to-date with every junior artists' activities. both tvxq like to mention devan as the new rising visual rookie in the agency on television so they're very relieved to find out that devan finally debuted.

 

SUPER JUNIOR perhaps, super junior is the first group that had major duality and devan always enjoys watching funny super junior clips every now and then to relief stress. even their videos from more than five or seven years ago are still funny and entertaining. he always fails to pass the "super junior don't laugh challenge" but he just can't help it. the way they are really good at crafting their art in their respective fields is something that devan wants to learn.

devan does want to be a producer or singer-songwriter with a long-term career like super junior but perhaps, he'd want to explore new things by then. all the members of super junior interact with him on good terms, always making him laugh with unexpected jokes or funny faces that even he can't think of.

 

GIRLS' GENERATION there's no need for a long description when devan hears the group name "girls' generation". the moment he hears it, he'll get chills and this vague feeling of nostalgia. he grew up watching the nation's girl group since the year they debuted, he started as a part-time trainee at SM ent. and he idolizes every single member as each member has different skill sets but when put together, it just somehow works.

devan aspires to achieve just a portion of their legacy as that in itself is already a big achievement for her and her group. he becomes very nervous and awkward around them just because their aura itself is already different. not to mention, yoona had been his first ever ultimate bias so everyone who trained with him know that he's a big yoona fanboy.

 

SHINEE shinee was the group that convinced devan that the future of the idol world was bright. especially, due to the fact he had the honour to cross paths with them a couple of times at the agency. it still hasn't dawned on devan that he's actually an idol under sm entertainment, the same agency as the group he fangirled over as a kid. it doesn't help that the shinee members all get along with him, especially key and minho who treat him like a younger brother. he doesn't even dare look taemin in the eye, he's that shy to be around him. (he cried so much when he saw the news of jonghyun's passing, it still hurts him as he remembers the kind words devan got from him when they crossed paths)

F(X) devan loved seeing the sibling-like relationship of shinee and f(x) at their days. f(x) was unconventional and experimental, making them the epitome of sm music performance and the unique girl group sm entertainment always wanted. their music, in general, always has a place in devan's heart because they were the ones who introduced electric dance beats to kpop and everything took a turn since then.

devan remembered the day he bought the pink tape album and fell in love with song 'airplane' and 'goodbye summer' (even more when krystal and sulli signed it in person!). he forced the hell out of dao to sing 'goodbye summer' with him as a duet performance during one of their monthly evalutions and dao hasn't let it go ever since.

EXO having his part-time trainee years overlap over several of the exo members', devan is perhaps the only one from the whole SLJK that is able to act normal when he's in the same room as them. he had been the closest with sehun and chanyeol which made everyone call them "the three towers" since the three of them were quite tall even back then.

even after their success, devan and exo still have a close relationship regardless of whether or not they are busy. everyone remembered the buzz devan caused when sehun and chanyeol had posted their support for his debut on their instagrams.

RED VELVET the relationship between devan and red velvet is similar to his and nct since they were in the same jumble of trainees at the time. devan still remembers how he would baby yeri, how irene always reminded him of a goddess, how seulgi taught him some dance moves, how wendy and him always talked in english, and how he was amazed at joy's beauty and voice at the time (although, until this day, irene even in her bareface amazed him the most).

red velvet are still the sisters who took care of him when everything got a bit hopeless and they were really happy to see him debut, yeri especially since they trained together before she was added to red velvet. they still get nostalgic of the past when they see each other and to devan, red velvet's music and performances are just incredible and unique.

NCT out of the 23 (and counting) members of NCT, devan is the closest to the ones who were SM rookies in 2015-2016 (taeyong, johnny, taeil, kun, ten, doyoung, jaehyun, mark) since he had lived together with them in the trainee dorm until the NCT concept was announced. he has been through so much with them so there was no way devan would forget the guys who helped him through it.

that doesn't mean he doesn't have any memories with jungwoo, wayv or the other dreamies since he and jungwoo (and sungchan) were a deadly trio. that was until devan went into the SLJK program and jungwoo and sungchan were slated into the NCT lineup. the members of NCT and him are super keen in revealing the stories of the past because there are some funny ones involving birthday pranks, fake fights, petty bets and secretly buying or eating food together.

AESPA even if aespa debuts in 2020, devan knows them as karina (yoo jimin) and winter (kim minjung) were hidden sm trainees at the time who trained alongside him and several other of the SLJK trainees. devan's quite friendly with them, except perhaps giselle who didn't get to cross paths with him as a trainee. devan would most likely share some episodes of him and the aespa members when they were training together, causing fans to become more curious and pining for their interactions.

devan's first everything, basically. chaerim was a female trainee whose the same age as devan that entered sm ent. in the same year devan became a general trainee and somehow, got closer as friends the more they trained alongside each other.

 

with the encouragement of yeri and several others (he swears to god that seulgi and irene did so, too but he can only assume), he finally shoot his shot and everything went well at first. all the other trainees knew they were an item to the point it was almost like an unspoken fact amongst them. well, at least, they were able to hide it in front of the trainers. they had a solid year together before the devastation of not making red velvet's lineup crushed chaerim and she gave up the trainee life altogether. devan tried his best to comfort her and make the relationship stay afloat but to no avail. chaerim had always been decisive, never turning back on her decisions.

 

"i want to put all this behind so i have to let you go, too" was how she broke up with him. he knew it was inevitable. yet, even then, he was heartbroken for so long and it was a wakeup call for him. he focused on releasing his feelings through training harder and somehow, it was as if everything was back to normal. devan has never been an intense fool for anyone else ever since then.

the girl known as simply just "dao" had always appeared around kazu, hana and cameron so devan couldn't ignore her presence. he introduced himself one day and upon hearing her birth year, he was delighted that he wouldn't be the oldest trainee anymore while also being amazed at her baby face, young appearance.

 

her outgoing and confident personality clicks well with devan's and they became close friends (as dao would put it, "bro-sis"). at some point, he and cameron basically loved to banter with her. devan and dao used to have comical battles of wits or bets on the daily, which used to cause the other SLJK trainees at the time to argue on who'd win (devan noticed that cameron would always place his bet on dao). other than that, if devan is there to take care of liam in MLSM, dao is there to take care of them both in SLJK as the oldest "mom" figure amongst the trainee. devan does enjoy having real talks with dao over spicy food some nights until cameron pops his head into the room and sits himself next to dao.

 

now that devan has spent some time observing cameron and dao, he knew something was brewing between the two even if they don't (even if they didn't know it, devan is certain other trainees have caught on just like him). devan thought that he'd might as well act as the bridge or middleman that can push them together. only time will tell how that'll go, though.

▹PART-TIME GENERAL TRAINEE, SM ENT◃ summer 2010 - 2012 

 

that summer in 2010, devan found himself flying to seoul alone to start his part-time training at the biggest agency in south korea, sm entertainment. he was able to fly back and forth from vancouver to seoul during the summer and winter breaks due to the financial ability of his family. this routine of his continued until he graduated before he became a full-time trainee who resided 24/7 in seoul. it was in 2012 that he became a full-time trainee (meaning he settled down in seoul for good) and was enrolled in an international performing arts' high school the same year in order for him to get a high school diploma.

all throughout his time in sm entertainment, he trained himself so hard and learned the concept of self-discipline for the first time as he was taught such concepts (along with ethics, manners, and self introspection) as a part of the training system in sm entertainment. it was difficult, of course as he threw away a part of his asian jock high school life to become a trainee but what is life without hardcomings? what is success without struggles?

 

▹FULL-TIME GENERAL TRAINEE, SM ENT◃ 2012 - february 2018

 

all throughout his time in sm entertainment after fully settling in south korea, he trained himself so hard and learned the concept of self-discipline for the first time as he was taught such concepts (along with ethics, manners, and self introspection) as a part of the training system in sm entertainment. and after graduating performing's arts high school, he cut the thread between him and possibly enrolling into university because it was hard enough to stay in SM ent. so he didn't want to add to the burden. devan did felt homesick and lonely but the bonds he forged, the memories made, and the habits he shared with the other trainees comforted him a bit. he continued to keep an open mind as he learned and spent extra time after hours to practice by himself. devan perservered, there was always a way.

despite others thinking it was bad for SM to keep him in their dungeon, devan was relieved. to be revealed as a trainee that has no certainty of debuting would mean double the pressure. it was enough he partook in several SM rookies showcases without being revealed. it was more than enough, actually. trying to survive in the cut-throat training system itself was already a challenge for everyone but to be a SM rookie that was expected to debut? devan later knew about the devastating effect the amount of expectation and pressure had on a rumored debut lineup trainee when xu yiyang, aria jin, yongzoo, hansol and herin left. he knew he had to carry on for them.

that's how he strengthened his mind and that's why even if those who trained with him left or debuted one by one, devan always sincerely prayed for their health and success with a smile.

 

▹ SLJK ELITE TRAINING PROGRAM ◃ february 2018

it was shortly after february's monthly evaluation that devan was noticed by madame kang herself who was selecting trainees from the general roster for SLJK. devan had consistently survived in the roster for ten years now if she had included his part-time training years. the resilience and consistency that devan had to make it every single year (or month!) into the training roster had shaken something in madame kang as impossible as it may be for her to be touched.

"devan-hyung, someone told me to call you to madame kang's office," sungchan said as he peeked into the practice room devan and jungwoo were in, the two listening to exo's monster.

"alright, i'll go right now, thank god i haven't sweated a drop yet," devan said as he and jungwoo did their duo handshake with one another before walking to madame kang's office.

the moment devan appeared in front of madame kang's office door, he trembled. just what was in store for him? after knocking three times and being allowed in, devan went inside and bowed a full ninety degrees to the woman sitting down at her desk.

"have you heard of the reason why you're here, devan shin?" madame kang immediately asked devan who could fill cold sweat and trembling fists before answering, "n-no, maam."

he saw a smirk on madame kang's face but for what reason?

"i've come to give you the one and only last chance to debut, child... would you take it? to be a part of SLJK, the best of the best in the whole SM trainees?" madame kang saw the instant look of desperation, remorse, angst, determination and delight in devan's eyes all at once. just how much potential has he piled up inside him all these years? she thought to herself.

"of course, ma'am, if there is only one option, there is no fear in the chances of failing. thank you very much," devan said, boweing a full ninety degrees who knows how much.

"do you have any songs you'd like to sing right now? anything that comes to mind?" madame kang unexpectedly asked him.

"exo's universe... i enjoyed it quite a lot. it reminded me of losing at something i haven't even started," devan's words were cut short when madame kang smirked again, "like your chances to debut in NCT, you mean? i know you know you are not slated into the NCT 2018 lineup. so, channel all that and just sing, my boy. show me your despair and desires," she wistfully ended.

so, that's how devan just started singing at madame kang's request. she closed her eyes and just took his vocal performance in with an open mind and ready ears. lovely, just lovely.

when devan finished singing, she asked him, "and here, it says you are a dancer and rapper too. you really had too much time in our training rooms to be good at everything, huh?" devan showed a polite smile, "only the best of the best can debut, ma'am. you have said it better than i do."

"indeed, i have. next time, show me the rest of your skill spectrum. someone is getting a SLJK contract. you will help us and the teams a lot in the future," she said sternly and to which devan nodded. he was excused and the moment he left the room, madame kang took a great look at his profile.

surely, his debut would cause a buzz of delightful SM Rookies and/or NCT fans alike. his native english speaking would make him dependable for attracting foreign attention and his physicality and age would make his audience wider.

perhaps, it was just fate that devan shin's fate to debut would lie in the hands of madame kang and the SLJK program.