{Minor talk on issues that may annoy you}

Hey,      

Today I’m not doing so good, feeling horrid. I wanted some chocolate this morning and when I got some I had 3 pieces and threw up  because my brain told me I shouldn’t have eaten it. Every time I think of food I want to be sick, I find myself not even enjoying food anymore it’s all a battle for me.

My mum was cooking Roast Dinner today and when it was ready I went down and saw how big the portion was… the plate was bigger than my face, and the portion was big enough for two people to have a meal. I looked at her and was like ‘why do you always give me these size portions they are to big’ she always tells me they are a normal sized portion but I’m sorry no way! I didn’t even get through 2 potatoes and about 4 mouthfuls of chicken…

I am worried of my issue with making myself sick returning as I managed to get it under control. But I am holding back the urge to throw up I want the food out of me....all I keep thinking about is how in 4 months I have to wear a strapless dress infont of my whole year group for prom and I need to get to 54kg by then thats 10kg to lose as I think I am 64kg as of now not sure because I most definetly have gained weight in the last week.... *cries*

I feel sick and I am scared….

Urg why am I so ing pathetic, I am sorry anyway I might work out again clear my mind a bit. Nah I will write chapters for my fanfic I am such a bad author for not updating more than once a week..

Bye sorry for the weird I talk about x