http://daeseol.livejournal.com/(Acknowledgement to Kuya Dan ((daesol in livejournal)) for his wonderful, nakaka-sabaw fics)

I've been rereading a lot of my favorite fics before, and I came across some that has something to do with UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test). The characters are members of exo (specifically Suho and D.O),  who took the test and found some kind of connection by the end of it. It was honestly the best. When I first encountered it, I didn't know what it actually felt like to take the test. Although last August, I had the privilege to take the country's most renowned university test with zero expectations to pass. Only then did I realize, that the things mentioned in the fic are actually true. 

(Imagine me trying to hide my feels while shuffling sines and cosines in my currently empty head)

When it finally ended, and my brain was drained to its maximum, I remembered another fic of his, wherein the exo members are studying in the Philippines' largest universities. Somehow, fangirling decreased my worries after the taking the exam. I'm not really the smartest girl in our batch, and eventhough I didn't want to expect, I was hopeful. I know if I pass that, I will feel some sort of fulfillment and responsibility. Besides, I want to prove a lot to those who don't believe in me.

So I waited. 

I waited together with my batchmates, all of us hoping to snatch a spot in the top University. (It's that important.)

We heard the news that the results will be released on Dec. 23, 2014. Yup. 2 days before Christmas. I told myself that I will resist looking into it, just so I wouldn't feel disapointed and ruin my Christmas. Luckily, it was a false alarm. The University didn't give an exact date as to when they will release the results, so we waited again. It honestly felt like waiting for a storm. 

Finally, on the day everyone least expected it, the results came out. The seniors were all at school. It was Kyungsoo's birthday. UPCAT was blurred in my memories. I had no expectations. 

Later that evening (January 12), I received a call from my cousin who also took the test.

Guess what.

I PASSEDKJLHWOHCUIWX

It didn't sink in that time, so I look it up and saw it for myself. It was so damn good to see my name in there. I screamed so much and cried and laugh in disbelief and cried again--it's a whirlwind of emotions that I still don't get until now. All I know is it was so nice and surreal. So unbelievable that whenever I fall silent, I will remember that I passed the exam that 88,000 other students dreamt of passing. It was once a dream too. But now, it's a possibility. An open door.

 Now that I'm rereading all these fics about UPCAT, I remembered my own experience. How awkwardly uncertain I was, how insecure and intimidated I felt--it didn't matter in the end. I passed. And in this moment, I'm so happy. I still feel like I'm floating in the clouds, but I'm certain to keep my feet on the ground. 

That's all.

idk why this turned so sappy all of a sudden(it's sappy from the start), but I just couldn't hold my feels anymore. 

OMGIPASSEDOMGWHOAMI

ANDDDD

HAPPY JONGIN DAY!