Hello...

So the reason I am worried as hell is because starting today I have exams till next week I'm one of the lucky people to have 2 days off since I don't have to go in when I don't have exams... However I have tried to revise for every subject and mostly it's been Science I have taken all my time to revise because my teachers (I have two) are actually hopeless in teaching, I have according to the school dyslexic tendancies, memory and proccessing issues etc and I have told all my teachers countless times that I need extra help because of my problems yet the only teacher who has actually helped me is my maths teacher. My science teachers are to fast and since the begining of this year I have no idea what I have been taught, I can't remember anything from the lessons and all my notes are incomplete because the teachers went to fast and the fact that I can't process what they 'say' what I mean by that is when a teacher is speaking to a class explaining things to them with speech not just things off a board- this is what I can't process so I struggle a lot in science because the teacher only speak everything and when they do have things on the board they change it before I can finish my copying. I recently complained to the people in charge of my problems and helping me through school.

Anyway my timeline for this week and next week:

Tuesday (today) 

-English (start at 8:50am, 2hr15) - go home after 

Wednesday

-History (Starts at 8:50am,2hr) -go home after

Thursday

-I have no exams so I have the day off

Friday

- Maths (Starts 8:50am, 1hr45)

-Music (Starts 11:20am, 1hr30)

-Science (Starts 1:45pm, 1hr)

^^ all of these are my worst subjects

Weekend

Monday 

-Geography (Starts 8:50am, 2hr)- go home after

Tuesday

No exams so stay home 

~~~~~~~~

I'm so worried for this week and last night I had a massive breakdown in everything my mum couldn't get to me at all I was pacing the house speaking rapidly going through so many thoughts out loud most to do with Friday... I hate Friday because one it's my worst subjects and two I have never had that many exams in one day before and three I know there is a high possibility that I will breakdown during an exam since they are my most stressful subjects. Maths I more worried about it being a none calculator paper because most of the stuff on the paper I am hopeless without a calculator, Music well I got an E last time so let's say I'm screwed. And science well you know I don't remember anything and none of my revision has gone in. 

I have managed to not vomit though so this is good, I only managed around 2 hours sleep last night got to sleep gone 11pm possibly 12am and woke up just after 2am.. My head is killing me but it's just the one exam today and I got a D last time because I missed out 1 question due to the fact I didn't know or understand how to answer it so I left it blank (it was a 16mark question so yea if only I had answered it I would have got a C) I  now understand how to answer the questions so I am hoping to be okay my paranoia is on high alert though since I will be in a room with over 100 people, I'm pure silence only the sond of paper moving (seriously social anxiety is not helpful in situations like exams) 

i remember last time I had a history exam one of the people who walk around looking for cheaters and stuff decided she would stand right behind me and lean over my back to which I could see her shadow on my paper, she stood there for 5 minutes I started to shake because well my personal bubble was breaking so in order for her to leave me alone I stopped writing and just sat there (wasting much needed time) till she left... 

My friends have all suggested that I ask to be in a separate room so my paranoia doesn't go over the top and that my anxiety will be helped not being stuck in the room with so many people. With me I struggle to focus in my paper in situations like exams because my mind is more concerned about the people around me thinking thousands of thoughts at once instead of just focusing on what I am supposed to be doing...

I have to go revise some more Bye bye guys I'm so scared xx