Bleh, as I lay here I thought I'd update on my fics but I couldn't.. I'm so bored yet I guess depressed.. I keep wanting to cry over some really stupid stuff.. Anyways I wrote this little thing instead of updating.. And yes I was crying so comments on this blog could possibly cheer my awful life.

here, I think I'll call it ; this side of the world 

            I lay here awake at 3am. Trying to              distract myself from my pity that won't seem to fade on nights like this.

Nights where I'm not tired to sleep but tired of too many other things.. Other things that involve my life that is still stuck here, instead of where I dream to be.

On the other side of the world.

Still tears threaten to pool my vision.

How I hate myself only steeps in deeper when I look at beautiful faces.

Beautiful people, with beautiful lives. 

Do I envy or do I just hate myself? 

How can I  envy when I look to you, the upmost  beautiful face, spirit I've ever seen. 
You, the one that's so far away. 

   On the other side of the world.

Yet, when I tighten my grip on this pillow tonight.. It feels as though I'm there. 

On the other side of the world. 

As though I can smell you, feel you and most importantly hear you. 

The thoughts race through my mind as I know none of this is reality and only my imagination taking over.

Because I know I'm on this side of the world.

Finally my vision blurs as I open my eyes and see that I'm not with you, I'm in my room..

I'm in my room, dark but light enough to know that this is reality and to keep dreaming is the only thing keeping me away.

Keeping from this side of the world.