Hey.

Tomorrow I have school and I am dreading it, then thought of being stuck in the classrooms with so many people and me most likely having a stupid anxiety attack just like I always have. The constant being made fun of because I am unable to count numbers correctly (I have dyscalculia- dyslexia but with numbers) I am sick as well at the moment which won’t make my situation any better.  In a week’s time I will be having exams for 2 weeks in those 2 weeks I get 3 days off school because I have study leave, I am panicking about my exams because if you asked me a question on any subject I wouldn’t be able to answer you because I have absolutely no idea what I was taught from the beginning September I am absolutely clueless of anything because I just don’t understand anything in school. *cries*

Anyway back to what I wanted to say:

There is a boy at my school that I had a crush on for 3 years and when he found out we spoke nearly every day, he told me he wasn’t ready to date another girl yet (he had just broke up with a girl) so me being me just said that it was fine and we continued speaking but suddenly he was in relationship with my close friend and he apologised to me about it, I told him I didn’t like him because he had pissed me off by saying what he said but couldn’t last 3 days without getting another girl, now me and that girl don’t talk because she feels guilty knowing full well I liked him but I honestly don’t care. But I got a girlfriend never told him about that when I did he accused me of everything and even called me horrible names, when I broke up with her I went a few months before I said yes to a different dude but when I told him he yet again accused  me of things, he didn’t like it when I got a boyfriend because I liked him and I should only like him… I turned round and told him that I was not going to wait for a dude who probably will never actually like me back! Well I became single again and have stayed that way but he always told me he was not ready to date and he would constantly ask me if I still liked him every time we spoke and I always told he knew the answer so he should shut up. But yesterday he asked me again if I still liked him and I said the same answer as always..

Yes.

But today I find out that he has a girlfriend yet again… so I am not allowed a ing boyfriend but he’s allowed a girlfriend and I’m to stay quiet…yet I get so much abuse if he finds out I got with someone… he’s a ing jerk my heart fell for a jerk who thinks popularity is better…I ing hate him but don’t want to hurt his feelings… yet he always hurts mine…

He's an utter dickhead he's messaging me right now as I'm writing this bragging about his girlfriend....

WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye bye guys xx