Backstory/Inspiration for "Plus Sized"

Backstory/Inspiration for "Plus Sized" 

(Read if interested, otherwise feel free to skip)

I was born 8 pounds and 10 ounces, which made me a pretty big baby. Growing up, I was a chubby kid but I eventually slimmed down with age. There was a period in my life when I was literally compared to a twig, but during a physical, my doctor forced me to eat more because I was seriously underweight. It got to a time when I was a healthy BMI, however, according to Asian standards, I was a little chubbier than the average Asian my age by about 5-10 pounds. It was a horrible experience for me; my relatives would constantly comment on how I got bigger every time they saw me even though I didn't gain any weight. 

My self esteem took a huge hit with every comment and criticism. I was conflicted: I wsa only following my doctor's orders, but why were my relatives mocking me? That period of middle school took a huge toll on how I saw myself.

When I begun high school, I was 5'2 and weighed 125 pounds; I suddenly decided to go on a diet when I was a sophomore in highschool because I couldn't handle any more of the mocking from my relatives. I was extremely miserable because I would constantly skip meals in order to lose weight. Eventually I lost 10 pounds and I was down to 115, which made me estatic--but it wasn't enough. I still saw fat everywhere and I desired to be 100 pounds. By the time I became a junior, I gained all that weight back because of the yo-yo effect. Now, as a senior I'm struggling to fit into both the Asian and American weight standards, but it's hard. 

My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to be 100 pounds, which seems unrealistic with my height but I want to accomplish this before I graduate in 5 months. Please root for me to accomplish my goal! :D

I want to end this backstory with a final note: weight self-esteem is a major issue. I still struggle with it, and am unhappy with what I see in the mirror everyday. If there's a friend out there that has a problem with his/her weight, you should seriously talk to him/her and beside your friend in their time of need. Showing concern really encourages the other person to be satisfied with how he/she looks or try harder to accomplish his/her weight loss goal.

I hope you guys all understand where I am going with this. Maybe not... I'm ranting now, omg. 

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happybubletea #1
I can totally related to this T_T I'm a bit "chubby" for Asian standard too. People at school said I'm skinny so I feel relative "at ease" when I'm in America. I have a round face even though I am not that big. But every time I visit my grandparents in Asia, I have to lose a lots of weight so I won't get called out by my relatives >.< All my cousins in Asia look like stick figure T_T I hope you achieve your goal. But try to do it the healthy weight by eating more veggies and fruits and drinking more water. You are pretty despite of the size you wear.
angryvirus #2
Honestly, I can't say I know how you feel about weight issues. I've always been skinny since I was young, and I naturally don't eat a lot since I get filled up very fast -- not to mention, I, fortunately, am active and love exercising. I do, however, understand about dealing with family members criticizing me and making me feel as if I was the worst person to exist. It hurts more coming from them since usually family is the one to lovd you unconditionally. Still, as much as it's hard to ignore them and it's hard to not listen to them, you really should stop caring about what they say. No one is perfect. Not you, not me, and definitely not them, so if they are rude enough to point out something about you then they deserve none of your attention. Besides, if your doctor says you're healthy then that's all that matters, really. Your family members most likely don't know what the healthy weight for you is and are seeing it by just their eyes. They don't know what your weight should be, so they should have no say if you're fat or skinny or fat whatever.

Also, high school isn't forever. Trust me, I graduated HS a long time ago, and I barely remember it. All the people I fought with, all the drama, all the problems were gone the moment I graduated. As for the boys, don't worry about them. I get about dating and everything but boys are, usually, immature at that age anyway. You're not missing out on dating in HS despite popular belief. If those guys are making fun of you then it just shows that they're immature and need growing up to, considering they have their own flaws as well.

I hope I didn't sound mean or anything. I wasn't sure how to word it. I guess what I'm saying is that although it's hard to ignore what people say and words do hurt, you have to remember it's your life and not theirs. You can have a great future ahead of you. You can make something great out of yourself.

++ more in reply, oops.
holikaholika #3
ahh I feel you, but if you really want to lower your weight, do it properly eoh? don't you ever starve yourself for a long period of time. I know it's hard not to listen to what other people say about your weight or how beautiful those girls on magazine or tv with skinny figure. I've been there, no, I'm still there, but I can't help myself anymore so I really want to prevent you from suffering.
I was born in seoul, healthy but I get slightly chubby around elementary and get chubbier during junior high, I was about 106pounds and 5'1 at that time and everyone around me called me fat even my mom said so. but that time I didn't really pay attention nor listen to them and during senior high until first year college my weight increased to 121pounds with height 5'4. well yeah, that time everyone was calling me pig, guys and girls was telling me to loose weight and stop being a pig because I looked gross. my clothing size during that time was 55-66 in korean size it's equal to M-L, and my pants was 28-29 (M-L). majority of girls around my age a year ago was actually wearing size 44 (S) and 26 for pants. because of my weight I didn't have a lot of friends because they were disgusted, guys too often laughed at me. even my parents told me to stop eating and go on strict diet. start from there I changed.
I slowly limit my eating, I don't eat rice and I only eat once a day which is in the afternoon. I count every calories each day until I limit myself to eat only 100calories a day. I cried everytime I look at myself in the mirror because there are fat everywhere and I look gross just like what they told me. everytime my parents took me out to eat, I cried because I'm that scared feeling that 'full' feeling on my body.
At first everyone was like "wow, you are skinnier you look good" and I felt great and I don't want to stop. Because everyone was slowly accepting me in their circles and I didn't get call fat anymore. (continue in reply column because no space >.< )
fanchan #4
Oh man I feel you so hard tbh :-(( throughout 2013 and a majority of 2014, I dealt with way too many self-esteem issues (I was going back and forth between the 'I don't care' phase and the 'I really hate myself' phase) not only about my body size but kind of...everything else as well. And I completely understand about the mocking - I really hate going to family gatherings or going back to my hometown because I'd always get criticised on how much weight I've gained, or the amount of pimples that grew on my face.
I remember losing a lot of weight back in the first half of 2013 for prom night (I was 112 pounds) but then since I dieted so much for that day, I gained all the weight back afterwards and I was so devastated to see the numbers going up everytime I stepped on the weighing scale ;n; For the whole of 2014 it was literally just me trying to diet and failing every single time - resulting in even more weight gain. I'm currently at my heaviest right now and I'm so upset I let it happen TnT
If 100 pounds is the weight that makes you happy, then go for it! You have all the support I can give :-) I want to reshape my whole body this year tbh hahah
kaichocosoo #5
TBH, I've grown up a lot, lot bigger than you are, dear. :) But I was just lucky enough that I wasn't able to experience such harsh treatment from anybody who's close to me. Sure, I've heard strangers calling me names but like I care. I'm sorry that you are experiencing that and you know what? For what it's worth, not all people are judgmental to plus sizes like us (if you're even a plus size already). I just wished that you were able to experience what I have. I've finished school having a lot of friends and a lot of love from my family. :D And even at work, my colleagues didn't measure my worth with my weight.
I know a lot of people who are struggling with weight problems and I really feel sad about it. :( and it's even harder because your relatives are pretty insensitive (no offense meant but I hope you get my point)
If ever you are having a hard time with this, you can always come drop by my inbox and rant all you want. ;P
But don't ever let your weight put you down. :) It won't make you less of a person. Just as long as you're not putting anybody in harm, just be yourself. :) Don't risk your health, or anything.

Remember, there are people who won't be measuring you up because of how heavy or light you are. ;)
dream-of-flying #6
dont push yourself too hard okay? aim to be healthy, not skinny. <3
asians_ #7
I'm rooting for you chingu ~ i know exactly how you feel especially since i'm from Korea i know what your talking about.. i'm 19 and it's my 2 year in Uni. But i struggled a lot growing up because i was "bigger" than most of my classmates i'm not ready to talk about it so i admire you for sharing this with us ~ i'm really rooting for you! Hwaiting ~ ^^
P.S excuse my english ( / . \ ) i'm still working on improving my grammar and spelling ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
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