Hello firstly I would like to wish everyone a massive Happy New Year!

I want to say some stuff about 2014, now this year was one of the worst years of my life I have been through a lot of this year. I have seen the true colours of the people I called friends the people I trusted with all my secrets. I have been hurt by these people in so many ways be it physical or emotional they have caused me to do things to myself which I regret doing. I became unimportant to people – one person I actually gave up so much time for helping them through their problems, I spent hours speaking to them making them change their mind about killing themselves and now I am invisible, I am not important and not needed.  I lost friends and some stayed the same I am so happy I still have my lesbian friend Jo we went through together and she was always there for me when I needed her most, she was there to hold me and hug me when I would cry and I did the same for her.

I made it though, I am still alive I am happy I failed every attempt to commit suicide. I am happy that I didn’t listen to the demons but I did have a massive battle with them. I saw myself get into a dangerous mind set and in all honesty it actually terrifies me, I have many scars visible some very fresh – my thighs look like I was attacked by an evil cat- but I am still here breathing and that’s all that matter!

2014 was a pretty crap year for kpop as well and I am praying that 2015 will be a better year, I don’t want to hear about any more deaths of any idol in a car accident I want managers to drive responsibly and safely it’s their lives their risking as well.  I want companies *Whispers SM Entertainment* to start bloody treating their idols as people not some robots, have you seen the pictures of EXO this morning poor Sehun looks half dead and the same could be said for Jongdae and Minseok they all look sick and that breaks my heart. I want idols to be happy and healthy not sick. I saw people leave the fandom this year but I stayed, I refuse to allow anything to stand in the way of the key to my happiness and the people that saved my life.

So to finish this off I want to say I hope everyone has a better year in 2015 and I hope you are all healthy and well.

My New Year’s Resolutions:

》lose some more weight

》learn to love myself for who I am

》Ignore the people who make me feel unimportant.

》Start learning Korean, Japanese again

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Bye bye xxxxxxxxxx