Hey.. *sigh*

Today has just been tiring... I went out with my mum and there was just to many people for me to cope so I ended up screaming for my mum to stop moving as i was being pushed further and further away from her by adults. I was terrified and all I wanted most was something to just calm my nerves. My mum made me go into a shopping centre with her while I was still on edge from the previous events in town but I followed her round quietly until she asked me to go back to the car with the shopping so she could get Starbucks I asked for one with strawberry and when she gave it to me I seemed to calm down a lot also with the help of music.

Got home and I did all the things my mum asked of me to do then I went to my room but after a while my mum just started screaming at me saying that I had done nothing to help her and that I'm selfish because I didn't want to give up my bed and bedroom for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...I literally had a massive argument with her resulting in me having a panic attack and taking a razor to my thigh.... *sigh* 

why is it always me that when I try to be happy it just turns bad...

bye guys I need to sleep this off it's hurting me