Long time no writing blog..but today I am.I need to spit it out..my feeling about how i feel..cause I don't think everyone around me want to hear it..in fact they dislike me if i starting to talk about anything related to kpop..ahh,i miss the old times..time flow so fast and I just realize that I have been with kpop for about five years since I'm 11 years old..actually I don't stan any group that much previous years..not much like how I stan BTS starting last years..I'm really into them you know..i made a research about them and start from that day,i'll always catch up anything about them in case I miss out something..could you imagine,last year is one of the most important year in my life since I got an important exam..and every kids age 15 must get through it..the exam...we suppose to study hard and smart for it but I think it just me that I fangirling a lot that year..and it like 4 month before the exam when I start to stan BTS..haha...but i still can manage to get excellent grades for it..i myself just can't believe it..is it true?..yeah it's true and that''s why this year..i take science and of course,i have to take biology,physics,chemistry and addmath subject fro my next year exam..and it start to be worse..i don't like any of that subject and i don't have passion in it..i can do it in class but not in the exam..i fails for all the four..FAIL.

In the beginning of year,everyone respect me and always praise me for my excellent result in last year exam..but after the first exam in the beginning of year,everyone start to ask me;why your result become worse?is it too hard for you?uwaah,you gotten worse than us?what happen to yours?how many fail you get?poor you..

Urghh,seriously?I feel like I want to quit school..they start to underestimate me and show their empathy  for me..I don't lose anyone okay?and why don't you show your empathy to me last two years ago when I really lose someone in my life?!Stop it already...I sick of it..They know;my classmates know how many fails I get and after that exam..when I try to ask them..they said this to me;are you really need help in this simple question?are you teasing us right now?hey,you smarter than us,don't kidding me you don't understand this?

Why they still treat me like I'm very smart student in school although actually I'm stupid this year?Why?And in the end,they did teach me but in lazy ways..my friends also don't really give attention to me this year..maybe b'cuz they just realise that i'm not that smart kid anymore..and b'cuz of that,i keep skip my school days..i only appear two or three times a week at school..i don't feel like I wanna study with them;even my friends..i just don't feel to..and the result,i become lazy and my grades drop this year..even teacher told everyone in the class;don't think you're in the first class you're smart enough,even execllent student last year in your class get terrible grades,so remember,study more and put more effort if you want to success..

i take my teacher word and will always keep it on mind..i realise that although my perfomance this year is really bad,i still need to continue my fight..i must get good grades to get into oversea university..i want to b'cuz that is my dream since i was a kid..i might fell down but still i can wake up and keep fighting till the end to achieve what exactly i want..but that's the problem,how i'm gonna wake up?how can i left my friends that i love very much through the fandom?huh..i still clueless and right now, i really feel like i'm the only one who still have many things to catch up..i need to prepare b'cuz next year,2015,is another big year for me as I and all kids who turns 17 will face another important exam,SPM...hah,i feel relieve a little bit..sorry for long story..hehe..if you have any story like this or any kind and type of story,just come and share..trust me,you'll feel great at the end..