Devastated? Yes. That's what I first felt upon hearing news of Sungmin having a girlfriend. Honestly, I didn't like the features of Saeun. But, do my opinions count? No. So I shut my mouth about it.

When I heard that they were getting married and Sungmin confirmed it by a letter, I felt incredibly sad again. But who am I to tell him what to do? When he says he's gonna marry her, he will. I just hoped that he would not regret what he's done.

Today, he married her. I didn't want to see any news about the wedding so I busied myself, even went away and spent time with my family outdoors. But when I went home, that's when I saw the photos. I saw them bowing to each other, them posing the SJ pose with all the members present (honestly I thought Kibum was going to be there, but no.), them taking selcas with other people who are invited, them smiling so happily.

I really cried. When the first photo popped on my facebook timeline, I cried. I couldn't help it. I said in my mind that I was happy for them, that I was happy for him. But you can't take away everything, right? There's still anguish, jealousy, and a feeling of betrayal left. But I know I can overcome them one day. I can accept them fully. I can be truly happy for them.

For now, all I will do is support him, support Sungmin, support Saeun's Sungmin. In everything he does, I'll support him. I don't want him to think that just because he married someone he loves, I'll walk away from his life, that ELF will walk away. #MartyrELF here.

And yes, the only thing that makes me positive about Sungmin getting married is that maybe SOON he'll have a child of his own, and then when Kyuhyun marries, he'll have a child of his own too, AND I WILL BE SHIPPING THOSE TWO LITTLE BUDDIES, WHATEVER THEIR GENDER WILL BE.

I still believe in KyuMin. Even if it's only just friendship, I'll still SHIP THAT FRIENDSHIP.

I don't wish for a divorce, but if Saeun and Sungmin really couldn't make it work, then I will still wish them the best.

How do I end this, huh?

I LOVE YOU LEE SUNGMIN! <3