What the.

Okay, my first comeback blog just got deleted. Gone. And i freaking don't know why. Ughhhhh. So let's start again. Crossing both fingers that this one will make it through. Because i promise you it will be worth it. Lol just kidding. 

Hello girls and boys! Welcome to my second blog and it's been yearsssss.  Couple of years maybe? I haven't had a chance to visit asianfanfics because real world the life out of me.

a loooooot of things h1appened.  Concerts here, concerts there, accusations here, accusations there. It's so hard to be a fan. It's so hard to be a blackjack. It's so hard to be a poor average fangirl. It's so hard to stan these girls (and boys, i may add, lots of hot rappers in YG quarters now OH MY GOSH let's invade them shall we?) That surprise the whole KPOP world by their world class talent and swag.

But what's the hardest thing I encountered this year?

GD and Kiko's scandal.

my faith to my one and only, my OTP the two people i owe the past five wonderful amazing years of my life my world fall apart.

I can't formulate my thoughts when the video first came out. I feel numb. I'm too shocked i guess and everyone on twitter went crazy. A lot of people reacted violently and a lot of people reacted violently by the reaction of other people. I can't believe it. There's something inside of me that whispering, "They're only friends" Just friends. He denied her right? Why would he be doing a lot of things witn Dara if he's with her. The denying stage. Forgive me. For being stupid.  I am loyal. I used to be.

Days passed by, i'm in the middle of work, trying to survive, fighting my own battles, when the news broke out. The moment i read the title,  i groaned out. I made a very frightening sound,  a sad sound, a depressing short sound. I can't let it out too long. My ice cold witch boss was there.  But that sound was enough to express my sadness. 

The pictures struck right through the heart. I can't believe i'll feel that pain when I'm not even in a relationship. 

I lost my soul.

My horse in my carousel stopped moving.

I hurt for my original biased. I hurt for Dara.

why would i take Jiyong's side? He's the one with another girl. And he's not even MY jiyong anymore. He changed. I can't see any trace of Jiyong anymore. He now act like GDRAGON, the playboy, the cold, the "too hot to handle"  boy we used to love.

i started hating him.

i admit it. Let's not be hypocrite. Our love for him got lessen. And worst, we don't respect him anymore. We blame him for Bigbang's absence. We blame him for not visiting Seungri. We blame him about Fantastic baby being the only song of Bigbang for 2015 upto 2079. We blame him for  not being the great musician.

We blame him for choosing Kiko Mizuhara.

That girl irks me. I don't know her.  I'm not even paying attention even when the scandal first broke out. She's a nugu.  I don't follow or stalk her. But timeline can't control themselves they spy her. She likes attention ain't she? With all those stupid wrong spelling and those pictures and disturbing poses with her friends. All those bad stories about her. Why would people talk about her like that? All of them are about her being a .

she's not worth it. But he choose her.

why?

all those secret trips to japan, all those stolen photos with him on the restaurants, those birthdays with his japan buddies

My DARAGON, MY GDSAN, MY NYONDAL went crumbling down.

fcked this feeling.

i stop loving GD. I stop coming to twitter and fangirl there. I stop bringinb up the word "Daragon" i stop missing him. I started focusing more on Dara. When she had her"healing vacation" here in th Philippines my heart is in pain. Maybe it's not about it, but my gut is telling me it is.

I don't even appreciate Good boy and when Dara didn't promote it, my, my it was GLORIOUS.

Now, i avoid fangirling over him. My attention is on the younger fresh boys. Boys whose not yet touch by ty japanese models. My hot young rappers.

Bwahahahaha /evil evil laugh

But boy oh boy, he is rocking that good boy hairstyle with bangs and black. I still love him. I, now, read fanfics of Daragon, i giggle, spazz and even laughed.  But i'm not obsessed anymore. 

Maybe it's the end, they both chose different paths,  Sandara Park needs to be the Actress Dara now seriously!  Maybe now is not the right time. Maybe not in this lifetime.  If heaven miraculously forgive us on our sins and the find each others arms, well maybe,

i'll find my soul again

(And start writing about them again)

😜