Well, I know some of us fangirls knows how this feels. That oppa we love so much and 'title' as our 'husband' just see us as a fan and nothing else. Well, maybe for the people who are lucky enough to meet them and somehow get to be with them/marry them in the future then deym you (kidding, just take care of oppa well TAT)

But I am coming from a different page. Well, not really, still Kpop related but a wee bit smaller than our oppa's. Idk if some of you remembers or read it before but I used to blog about a crush I was having when I was in High School aaaaand I won't do that again, THAT WAS SO EMBARRASING XD

But I am just so depressed about thinking of that dude who covers Chanyeol in one of the EXO Cover Group here in the Philippines (no I say tell the name XD) like, he's so nice. He's so cute. He's too funny for his own good. And UGH, I CANT EVEN- I might just cry describing him XD but a close friend of mine is a mutual friend of ours and I luckilytook a photo with him in two occasions and I just cry whenever I see the photos.

He's too kind for his own good and I sometimes wish it was something more! But I know he is also kind to other people who idolizes him. Heck, he doesn't even know me. He knows me as a friend of a friend. He knows me as that girl who took a selca with him looking like a tomato. He knows me as a girl who took a selca with him wearing that Heechul initial face mask. Other than that? Nothing. But for me, I see him as the love of my life. I don't even know how I feel for him now. Is it a deeper kind of like or do I love him? Idk. Too confusing.

And just the other day? I went to a Kpop Gatering and his group was performing, and the fangirl in me just blurted out and I screamed "I LOVE YOU J-------!!" like 5 times OUT LOUD throughout their performance and my friends were laughing me because as they say 'I was cute' (or maybe desperately pathetic) idk. But this things has been running through my mind for 2 days and I can't sleep properly, heck it's past 2AM and I have to wake up at 4AM to go to my 7AM class but as I said, my mind can't stop thinking about him.

Maybe it was the way he put his arms around my shoulder when we took the picture? Maybe it was the way he smiled at me when I thanked him? Maybe it was the way he told me 'Ingat~' (take care) when I bid goodbye? Maybe it was the way he smiled? BUT I DO KNOW THAT HE DOES THAT TO EVERYBODY BECAUSE HE IS THAT NICE! I don't even know, I even see myself as a desperate, over reacting hormoned teenager. I just- I don't even know. I think I just like him too much it kills me. I even cry thinking about him. He's too perfect for my well being. I'm sorry Heechul, I love you but he took my heart that you have been holding since 2009. I can't believe this TAT /cries/ Heechul is my one and only love 3 but I guess not anymore :(

I'll stop, since no one might read this and if someone did, it is now too long for your patience. I just wanted to let my feelings out. Just because I know how much pain it would be if I just keep this tucked in. I need someone to talk too and blogging, is my only friend 3 sorry, I'm just going to be a potato and ignore the feels.

(made it longer TAT sorry bye)