i'm stupid.

instead of keeping up with ignoring my sister and mother i start to talk with my mom again because i forgot that i was angry at her.

i'm really so stupid.

and then she gave me a peck on my cheek. how can i stay mad at her when she's so sweet?

asdfghjkl.

ugh.

but my sister is still that disrespectful girl.

i told her to sleep instead of talking with some boy on the phone and all i get is "shut up and go". and when i told her i won't wake her up when she won't sleep now she said "yeah, just go".

and the thing is, i can't just stop waking her up. i'm not that mean and even though she behaves like she owns the world i can't do this.

i'm too nice to her.

but she should start waking up by herself. she's 16 for god's sake. i started to to wake up by myself when i was, dunno, maybe 10/11 y/o? she should grow up and do things by her own. she's not a baby anymore.

ugh.

ughugh.

ughughugh.

(katharina's so cute. she's only four but she talks sweetly and hugs me and rubs my arms and legs when i'm cold and she tells me she loves me and that i'm the best stephanie out there (i'm the only one named stephanie she knows until now but still). i love her.)

i think i should learn being mean to my family. like, staying mad at them and not getting weak just because they act cute or smth like this. i definitely should learn this.

(ugh.)

(ughugh.)

(ughughugh.)