For the girl who tried so hard to blend in...

You have beautiful wavy curls, the color of an early autumn

that shines even brighter against your pale hospital skin.

(You thought I pitied you when I saw you stuck in that hospital bed)

But that’s not why I stayed.

You have different colored eyes; one green and one blue.

and people have called you a freak for it.

But that’s not why I talked to you.

You have a mole on the side of your neck

and you swear that you’ll never tie your hair up  so you can hide it.

(‘Most singaporean boys like girls with long hair anyway’ that’s what you said.)

But that’s not what I thought about you.

If anything, I hate the fact that you hide yourself.

I hate it when you wear contacts to hide the awe-worthy beauty that are your eyes.

I hate it when you make weekly appointments at your favourite salon

Just so that you can re-dye your hair a normal shade of black

because every Singaporean guy you’ve met thinks caucasian-looking asians are s and .

I never cared about your split ends.

or the fact that your left eye is an earthly green and the other an ocean blue.

I never cared about your mole

or the fact that you tried so hard to blend in.

I’m sorry. But you will never blend into society, no matter how hard you try.

You’re a precious diamond in the rough.

A gem.

The taste of gold.

The smell of home.

I’m sorry that I like the mixture of your favorite hairspray and that perfume your dad bought for you.

I’m sorry that I like it when you forget where you put your contacts, when in reality, I hid them away from you.

You can’t blame me. I wanted to know you. The real you.

And I’m sure someone else will love the ‘you’ that I see right now.

Tucked under my arm as I type this out at midnight.

Snoring loudly because you just finished your essay.

Sleeping soundly like a child.

Never hide yourself.

Even when I’m gone.