damn people. family? nah. rl friends? nah. someone who would care to listen here in my place? nah. joker? yes, they won't believe me and tell me i'm so fckin' dramatic.

those people that i needed gives more . i just felt happy being here in the internet at least there are people who would understand your unlike these people here who'd pretend that they didn't do nothing bad. selfish daughter? i bet i'm too damn selfish 'cause i care, if you have problems, you can go drink all you want, i have a problem so i'd probably drink too loljk i won't even a single drop. irresponsible student? well damn how about those everyday help i give even i know that i'd suffer 'cause i'd rather help someone or be considerate. am i being that conceited? am i being a ty friend? do you even know anything about my life? yes you know me personally but you don't have the right to take advantage. why? i just feel that you're takin' advantage over these years. i'm trying to be friend but the next day, some would start to ignore unless if they need something. my fault? yes it's my fault too but don't put the blame to me, 'cause it's our fault. i hate being happy 'cause at the end of the day, a ty news or thing happens. being somewhere else makes me feel more safe. the dark that i feared the most before is one of the things who told me that it'll be fine. so, you'd probably think that it's up to me how to handle myself and life. there will always be these type of people in your life, the person who i trusted and thought that she's the only person that would be there for me became one of the people i hated the most but i still love. the person who supported me eversince i came was the person who meticulously point everything on me though i know myself, the person who wanted to control everything and thought that it would be good, those people you've thought that will be there for you yet the one who's such a user, some people i guess.  have you ever wondered that every day and night. at least some of my family members that you hated the most are the people who would understand, thinking that they're quite a bunch of sinful children and ty mom to her children. tbh, i just thought about her being my mom. sorry for being too selfish not thinking about others. i know but i just can't hold it back anymore. i just need someone to hug me here in my place. i can't explain everything, i'm too shattered after being sturdy enough not to be cut down by a giant axe.