Lately I've been looking for stories that would leave a great impression on me, unlike the cliche-ness (if that's even in the dictionary) of every piece of literature published on other sites or here. I noticed how there's some who have poured their creative juices into their work and some wanted to manifest of what they feel towards the characters they are using and their indirectly spoken opinions about love, , relationships, life, drama and you name it. We were all trying to achieve that fantasy where everyone could ride in and gratify that craving for surreal adventure. I started out writing fics with OC's and practically opened my eyes about the highs and lows of fanfiction from the Naruto-verse where I started out as a SasuSaku (Sasuke/Sakura) shipper, in middle school I totally explored every genre and yes mischievously sneaking into the rated tag. But as time went by, as I click through links and links of people who shares something that's been running on their heads, and while I have been struggling to put my ideas into verbatim not because I lacked the skill (because I knew every now and then that I gain improvement in a humble pace.) but I was held back by intimidation and time. The time that reality requires you to fill with whatever activity, and decisions upon using it and Intimidation mixed with Inferiority because I knew that writing was never a passion to me but rather a favorite past-time and a way learn on expressing myself, but deep down there was a desire for me to pursue that passion but I feel small and unworthy to be called a writer because I've been seeing so many talented people who deserved much more praise and attention because they seem to pull off better than I do. I'm not trying to put myself into some competition but rather I feel like some other people are working so much harder than I do in improving themselves as a writer and here I am being half-hearted with what I do. 

As I'm typing this, my heart feels heavy but at the same time I know these words are filled with honesty and very much, I can reflect to what I have said because people grow from learning the truth in their lives, that's what I'm trying to find even if it eventually gets me on setbacks, at least I gain insight that I could use it  to help not just myself but for those people who have been going through the same thing and as a person who now has deepened faith and a refined heart and mind. I could say these thing are all a part of discovering the bigger picture that there is. Hoping that this growth will bud into maturity. 

I also got some serious personal Issues to handle, but It's not holding me back to explore some more into this rough road called life. 

I'm having a rough time with writing, but It doesn't mean I were to abandon it.