Happy Birthday, PaPa.

-2014, oct, 7 (wed)-

That is too late to say 'Happy Birthday' cuz it is oct, 8 now.

PaPa, I really want to say 'Happy Birthday' in front of you but I couldn't bcuz we r not still in the good term.I know that I made a hard time for you n MaMa. I'm really sorry, I'm just a spoil daughter for you.

I always cried because of u ( u scolded me n beat me so hard) since I was 6 n now I'm over 16 n still now. I know that it is fot my own good.

There wasn't even a single night that I never slept without crying, still now.

Haha, now I'm over 16 but I still can't give you a present. I really want to give you a very suitable n useful gift to u but u always say that u don't need anything. And Ma is too.

There is a lot of things that I want n I know tyat I can't get them. Our family is not a rich family, just normal. Now my Pa is 57 n he doesn't work anymore since last year. So I feel really sorry for them.

Now, I'm going to University not so soon. If I hav to ho Uni, you hav to spend a lot of money for me.

I really want to be okay with you like SuThe`( my younger sis, I only hav her) She is my parents' favorite. I never try to close them, may be tat's why you don't like me.

Yesterday, I dreamed about you, Pa. In my dream, u passed away by the car accident, we cried so hard. Especially, me. When I woke up from the dream, I felt that  there was tears on my face. I started to cry so hard, I couldn't even breathed so well. So hurt. If one day: in real life, if that'll really happened _  I think I'll cry so hard n I wouldn't like to live anymore.

That is true. I really really love you, Pa. 

But I can't say that kind of words to u cuz I'm afraid, I don't know why but feel like this. I wish you can know that I love you so much even I don't tell you and show to you.

Thanks a lot, Pa n Ma. Thanks for being my parents. Well, my sis too.

 I wish we can live happily together from now, healthily without any worry. 

I love you!!!!!!

( sry for my bad English n typos. Cuz I dont hav time to check )