It's such a disappoint- what I have come to now. Such a I have become, what sick thoughts I think. Everything is horrible. I incredibly dislike myself, and there is no way I plan on changing such thought. I have such a good life though. I have a decent performance in school, and I have what people call "friends." I don't think of it as that though, because my views on things have changed. Those "friends" are mine are just incredibly good liars, and I know that in the future they won't be there. I'd rather not create a bond that won't stay until the very end. It's honestly such a horrible way of thinking, but it has saved me from problems so I'm fine with it.

I'm so close to exploding. Everything is always in my mind, and it stays there. All the negative feelings I hold in are still in my head and won't go. 

I just- ... I just don't know what to do anymore. 

I'm sad, and that's all I know. 

What I'll do with my life, I don't know. I doubt I'll live long enough to know though. Whatever. 

Like I said, I just don't know. This is bull, I forgot my whole point. 

I'm not happy, and I don't think I will ever be.