Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be writing about such a tragic event not only happening in kpop but to a group I like and the member who was my favourite.

No one ever expects to lose a loved one before their time. No fan ever expects to lose their favourite celebrity so soon. And no kpop fan ever expects to hear the news that their bias passed away.

Risae had debuted previously to Ladies Code. I realised only last year that she appeared in a short We Got Married stint with a guy called David Oh who was apparently from the same show she had auditioned on. The time I discovered her and then Ladies Code shortly after was on an episode of Running Man. I thought who is this pretty girl that Kwangsoo is absolutely giddy for?

Despite her being the visual I didn't see this air to her which said 'I'm the prettiest face around' which is nice to see cos I get sick of idols who boast about their looks. It almost makes me want to say in a Wonka meme 'So you have a great appearance? Tell me how much each procedure cost.'

After that I discovered Ladies Code and found that their songs were catchy without being super cute or super y which made me a fan. I also watched them on Weekly Idol and enjoyed seeing the interactions they had with each other. I wasn't an avid fan. I liked their title songs and had a bias but I couldn't tell you what her favourite colour was.

And then last week happened. The dreadful car crash that should have never happened. My heart went out to the Eunbi fans as well as her family and friends. I remember sitting in bed praying for the situation and actually getting choked up. Rise was in hospital at the time and her condition was not good. Head injuries never heal back well if they are serious enough a lot of people were speculating one of two choices. The first would be that she wouldn't make it. The second being if she did survive then she would be a paraplegic or suffer some other result of brain damage.

I felt horrible for the group. Car crashes are common with kpop groups unfortunately but very rarely do they result in the death of someone. I hoped that somehow this would have been the only death.

Sojung had serious injuries to her jaw and Rise was in a critical condition. The news reports weren't clear. Some were saying that she had completed surgery after nine hours. Others said the surgery had stopped due to low blood pressure. It was hard to know what to believe.

Nobody wanted a second death. I didn't want her to die. Although she wasn't an ultimate I still didn't want her to die. She was unconcious in the ICU and from Thursday night til Sunday morning I was away from a computer screen enjoying Sydney unaware of what was to come. When I did check the news on Sunday morning for a bit there was no change.

But come Monday morning and I was greeted with the horrible news before I went to work. It was hard to concentrate on anything. A lot of the time the thoughts, 'she's gone' or 'she's dead' went through my head. In times of loss people can ask silly or strange questions. Mine came as I opened the fridge to place my lunch in. "How is it fair that I live but they died?"

Devastated for her loss, for her members, loved ones and all who knew her I felt a sense of grief knowing that my favourite member of Ladies Code was now gone. However afterwards I had a sense of guilt. Yes she was favourite member but did I know much about her? Honestly all I knew was that she was the visual, born in the same year as me and was in a Miss Korea competition years ago.

The news of her funeral and wake brought more facts about her which were unknown to me. She was a contestant on 'Birth of a Star', she was born in Japan and had older siblings. This also brought the heart wrenching truth of her whole ordeal from the car crash. How the paramedics couldn't recognise her due to the severe injuries. How she had to have CPR before surgery. How she stopped breathing three times and had to be resuscitated. Or the dear and bittersweet fact that Eunbi was the one member she felt uncomfortable leaving alone.

It's a week since her death and I can say I have moved on. This incident has taught me two things. It's not just that life is precious and once it's gone it can't be replaced. The other point is we need to treasure everyone we care for and don't take them for granted. Because as Ladies Code fans found out they can be here and then leave in a second.

RIP Kwon Risae. Thank you for being alive for your stans and average fans like me. Thank you for sharing your talents with your country and those who enjoy kpop outside of Korea. Over all just thank you and I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention to you when you were around.