I really don't know where I can start...well to put it simply I am f***ing up my relation with my best friend and over something really stupid and petty...

We have grown a little bit distant over this year, she started to watch more and more anime and to talk about it in some online community and making new friends and talking a little be less with me (yeah this little be less has become a lot, a lot more). Instead I put a lot of myself into kpop stuff ( to reduce the pain too, to have some kind of nice and fluffy distraction) ... I know she care for me a lot, she has sent me so heartful messages that broke my haert and I don't know what to do...maybe she care for me much more than I do, but for me she is an important person, I can see her in my future, I can see our sons and daughters grew and play together ... but I am awful to express my feelings properly, I mess up my ideas and I don't know anymore what to write and I become more anxious...