On AFF I post a lot of things that I don't talk about on other social media where people widely recognize me. Why? 

It is not at all because I'm ashamed about what I want to say but because here I can open up and be myself without the whole world of who I know seeing what I'm really feeling.

When Robin Williams died I was in shock.
He was my childhood comedy king.
He was the inspiration to my Peter Pan fasination. 
He was like another father figure to me.

He was my hero.

I was very upset in the days following his death and I didn't understand why. 

I called everyone I knew when I found out he had died.

But no one was crying as hard as I was.
No one was as upset as I was.
No one mourned for as long as I have.

It didn't dawn on me as to why I was so upset until three days after his death. I saw a clip of Jamanji and it hit me.

I was mourning a loss.
Someone had died and I was upset over the loss of his life.
Because to me he was a part of growing up. He represented my will to 'never grow up'.

I had lost someone important in my life.

And yes he was a celebrity and no we never met. I didn't think that an actor or actress could ever effect me the same way as say someone as a friend or famly member passing away could.

But it has. And as I watched the tribute Billy Crystal did for him tonight I recognized that he was a funny man. A funny man who helped me grow up to be the person I am. And as I grew older and heard rumours about his life and saw the show's he was now apart of I had cast him aside.

I had forgotten him and what he had done. 

Only when it was too late did I remember. And I feel guilty for ever thinking that. 

This post is just a personal message on my feelings for someone dear. It's to help me cope with his passing.

Sure I might have never known him but he was a major part of my life.
And I will never forget him.

His days as Peter Pan, or the Genie granting ridiculous wishes. The kid trapped in the crazy game or the fake housekeeper.
I'll always watch those movies and keep your memory close.

I love you Robin Williams. You were like a second father to me growing up. I miss you every day more and more.

And I will never forget you.

Love the four year old girl who first saw you in Hook,

Megan