I was planning to write an update and yet I was informed late that our professor wanted our papers done by tomorrow and I should probably start writing my research paper by now but then I couldn't. 

Maybe it’s just me and my humiliating weaknesses, but life at the University has never been more…tiring. The kind of tired that doesn’t take reprieve from ten hours of sleep or two straight days with nothing else but your favorite series or even an overseas trip— it’s a tiredness that stems from a failing mark, or a 7 am alarm on a Monday, or maybe it’s the lack of things to live for that makes even breathing feel so useless.

I swore to myself I wouldn’t give up (at least, I couldn’t anymore, not this late)— but this semester really tested my patience. I have stayed up two out of three nights just to temper with my indignation with Physiology. I have never gotten up early enough to make it for a fcking 11:30 class. It’s not like I have anything else to bother myself with, so what the am I always so fcking tired about?

Now, solutions;

1. I need to get a ing break like a kpop break. A few fangirling just for grins.

2. I have got to stop staying up until 4 ing am prior to an 8:30 am class. God how I wish my teachers would stop giving us pre-tests on every subject.

3. Seriously, just get some more sleep. Or maybe a love life. Whichever comes first. (Okay, maybe not the love life. I don’t think I could bear the thought of having a boyfriend. Well, it certainly sounds better if I could date my biases.  eherm. It’s fun writing and thinking romantic things, but I can’t EVER be tied down to a commitment that basically requires you to text every single fcking minute of every single fcking day of your relationship. The only reason that’s a option is so I can’t ever forget I have a phone, just in case I misplace it again or leave it in the motherfcking biology lab.) 

Also, I think I need to start believing in myself a little more. It to hate yourself every day, you know? Eventually I’m going to run out of things to blame myself for and maybe I could get over these superficial crap and start fighting for the bigger things. You know, that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs crap.

(See? I’m starting to be a little more fun again. pfft)