Suddenly, I remember about old memories. I'm 24, I'm still young in this tiring life but I passed so many difficult things that I almost gave up my life. I killed myself three times and I didn't die. I killed myself but no one knew about that. I drunk sleeping drugs, I came in middle of a road and waited for a car to hit me, and I stood on a tall building, readly to jump out. And I didn't die. Feeling so untrue but, yeah, my life...

I drunk drugs and I vomited it.

When the car came, someome pushed me away and asked me that was I crazy ?

I stood on tall building and in the end, I didn't jump.

I can't die, because I still want to live. I think about my mother, my dear mother and I can't do that.

I'm obssesed with dead but my desire to live was more powerful. I have so many things that I want to do.

My life was a mess, still it does have amazing things that makes me happy. Life's just like that, not completely in pink but also it's not only dark color.

I try to draw my life in beautiful colors. I want my life is a beautiful picture so my beloved ones can be happy about it. I want them to be proud of me. I try, and I still try, try till I can't do anything anymore.

Now. I'm just a coward and a hopeless person in this life, but who knows, what will I become in the future ? Yeah, who knows ?

Hope nobody has experience like me to know what life is. Every person has their own life to live, I wish you, the one is reading this, always have happy life. Best wishes for you <3