life sometimes. heh? 
sometimes i feel useless and such
other times i'm just all happy and thankful for being alive. 

right now, i'm feeling quite empty and lonely
i just miss my best friends and i want to see them badly
i could get to see them this saturday but... 
things complicated somehow and i don't think i can see them until next time. 

sigh. i don't know if i'm going through depression again 
but i can feel it; i'm just really sad, annoyed and depressed these days
but i'm trying to control it. i went through depression once 
and i don't want to go through another chapter of depression again.

i feel like crying and i just don't know what to do with life right now, honestly
hmmm.. it . it really is. 

what i'm worrying the most is my future
in my family situations right now, i don't think i can fulfill my dreams somehow
and that . i don't know when can i go back studying again and it really .

i did not get to study anything for about almost 2 years now and woah, it . lol
i stayed in my house all day and just surfing the internet like a lifeless person.

my vision got more blur from staring too much at the computer
but i can't help it as seeing my oppas makes me smile, 
i feel dumb, having low self-esteem and lack of confidence. 

ughhhhh so frustrating. i totally envy people having a good life haha

i don't feel motivated nor inspired unlike i used to
i remember being very hyper and bright back then but now
i'm like, noooo to everything lol. i just wanna stay trap in my
own little bubble aka my room and just do everything alone.

i became an introvert eversince and i feel safe and comfortable
in my own room. 

*makes a super ugly face* alright, i think i need to find something
that'll brighten up my day and hopefully, things will be good somehow?
gahhhhhh if only i have superpower, i think my life will be good lol
reality . life . but really, life isn't but what i'm 
going through is . \(TuT)/ < / / 3