Hello, my fellow readers.

      I am going to post and write a blog of my deepest thoughts that I can ever do in my entire life. I hope you can take this as an encouragement for me and help me through my crisis that I am suffering. With all of my sincere feelings, I would thank you all for reading, listening, and taking your time to be a part of my life for a while even though we may not know each other. I just simply wish that I can shake your hands and hug you with all of my personal strengths.

   And now, I would like to say that I am suffering from depression. For whom that may not know, it is a form of extent stress that would cause you to do harm to yourself. Yet, don't worry. I don't have the courage to hurt anything on my body. Mild thoughts came upon me and caused me to overturn my emotions as I am trying to get a hold of life. 

   Sometimes it can force me to do things that I don't want to do. Like the thought of suicide, or even worse. I been suffering from depression since the time I got bullied in middle school. As a kid, I want to blend in with the cooler students and have the same outfits, grades, and popularity as them. As a result, I was outcasted and bullied. It continues until high school and as much I tried not to think about, malicious rumors can get it toll around school. Cooler kids simply had their mouth blabbering about innocent people and their looks nowadays. 

    Not even bullying, but family matters. As much as I love my family, I can't take a damn minute of fighting and agruing. I just wish things quiet down a bit, so I be relax and spend time with my calm family. And as always like they say, " Behind that happy mask, lives her sadden self."  

    I had thought that my entire life would drown it self down right then, but now, I am recovering slowly. Thanks for a voice that had been there for me; I don't know what I am supposed to do from now on if it wasn't here with me. Thanks for the my second life of virtual writing on AFF that let me explored my fantasy circularity. And thanks for my peer counselor  who help me on every right step of directions. 

   Lastly, you guys, my readers. I am glad that I shared my deepest thoughts to you because I was afriad that you may think why isn't LovelyBlue updating. Sorry, but thank you.