Personally I feel like the character in story. The boy who cried wolf I am characterized as the boy with the exception I didn't die yet. I'm going through depression. I feel like everything I do is my fault and im just a hopeless person that doesn't understands well about the real world. From comparing myself to the boy who cried wolf I felt like no one believes me. I'm simply hurt. Yes I used to lie as child but I changed. Every since I got into kpop I felt life feels more better but I was also caught in curse. Not saying kpop did 

anything bad. The agenda is that my dad specifically doesn't like how kpop changed me. I felt so happy and carefree of being myself. He feels that it took away myself of being an active person and more appreciated person. Kpop did change my life status. I was intrigued by kpop in general. Im not in good state right now is I want to go back to my suicide mode. I got yelled at by my dad because simply argue about school ID and I told my mom but it even got the problem worst. My dad yelled at me that I'm stupid and I'm not all good at anything. It made me felt that I was worthless and never wanted to live. I know suicide is not answer to the my problem. I been through the hardship of being myself when I was young. Also there was one time as a kid my dad wanted me to get out of the house. He yelled at me and told me pack my stuff and get out. Honestly I'm a sensitive person. I cried easily and get hurt easily. Well I am a stubborn person throughout times. I wanna say I want give up being me. I deleted over 1300 photos on personal instagram. One thing is I love taking photos and deleting them made me give in that im not good enough. I loved my over 1300 photos i took and i truly didn't wanted my happy memories gone. My parents do say they care about but sometimes they take the not so good method to make me strong person. The method is call reverse psychology. It an old method how tell your child what to do. Reverse psychology doesn't works on me. I feel the overall of method isn't for all people. Everything I do I feel like pressure is weighted on me. No one giving me chance to tell my side of what I want to say. I don't have confidence. 

I'm really bad at explaining and confused thoughout probably whoever is reading this I might not make sense. I feel like I can't tell my parents how I truly feel because I'm alway now seen as carless, unappreciated, stupid first child. It just it really hard be back to being happy of being myself. My life isn't that bad comparing to others and my parent life. 

I feel like I shouldn't exist at all.

I currently not updating my stories.

All I do is be a kpop fangirl, goes reading about fanfics, eat and sleep. I don't do illegal things but everything I do is my fault right?.....

It's okay it's my fault anyways.