I've been feeling really down lately. I usually keep things like this to myself- but I have been feeling very down and upset. I was diagnosed with depression and I feel like it's getting worse I have the most negative thoughts and I can't even think straight. I cry over stupid things that are important to me and just- I'm really stressed out. I don't usually take RP's super serious but something happened in one and it made me realize how horrible and hard love is. It wrecked me and now it's all I think about. I cried that night and woke up with the worst headache. I felt a pain in my chest. And it was just an rp love. Not real. But it felt like it. The person made me super happy and I smiles a lot- I just wish I had someone to talk to. But I don't like bothering people and I had to get it off my mind, so I decided to post here. I'm just so angry at myself for doing something and it wasn't even real. It hurt so bad and now I just want to scream and cry, ask what did I do to deserve this? I'm horrible. I don't deserve love. I just can't seem to find the positive things. And I do try to. One second I'll be fine and the other I'll be extremely upset. I've never been so upset since my very first love back a few years ago. And now everyday is sad and I- 

Ugh. I don't want to think about this, it wasn't real, it was fake, a lie. Get over it. (But I can't.) 

I'm the most whiney person ever. Seriously. I just can't seem to get a grip. I'm going to die alone.