( DON RAEL ) ϟ REPLY 2013

quick portfolio

name : DON RAEL
birthday + age : DECEMBER 24TH, 1991 + 22
birth place : SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA
hometown : SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA
aliases : raphael of dancing - reference to her formidable gift for dancing, a term coined by fans with a play on her name / rachael - former stage name chosen by sm for her test duo debut as jukeb2x
ethnicity : KOREAN
nationality : korean
languages : korean - mother tongue / basic english - from high school / broken japanese - just started learning as a requirement of idol training

face claim : HYEJEONG OF AOA
backup faceclaim : SEOLHYUN OF AOA
height + weight : 170 cm + 46 kg
dress style: she likes clothes that are oversized to allow her to move easily, and prefers shorts above all else. rael will even wear them in winter, paired with leggings. fashi0n, in her opinion of past, is irrelevant, and all that matters is to dress to be visually appealing. post-accident, a scarf has become an indispenable accessory needed to cover the burnt skin on her neck which she cannot afford to properly fix.

body description (if any) : due to her lack of interest in food, she became malnutritioned post-accident. then again, her weight loss is hard to detect under the blankets she covers her useless legs with in her wheelchair.

liar's game

personality traits :
- : self-possessed, fixated, sensitive
+ : impartial, open, encouraging

personality :

before the accident happened, rael could be considered one of the nicer people in melodia and was generally well-liked by the other trainees. as long as she was not provoked -- which simply meant not interrupting her when she was trying to perfect a certain move, not speaking to her loudly in the morning, and not treating her like a stupid child -- rael generally went around feeling happy the entire day, and treated everyone well regardless of who they were. to the former ballerina, her talent in dancing was a matter of fact, a part of her normal daily life, therefore any barbed comments about her skill did not affect her in the least and feedback was to be taken seriously always. rael is actually quite a supportive friend to have, since she isn't the condescending kind and values effort as much as she believes in talent. her motto in life was unchanged even as a trainee: to peacefully work hard on her own, and let fate do the rest. as a result, the rather apathetic rael tended to avoid conflict if possible, preferring to walk away from impending arguments instead of having them blow up in her face. despite frequently emphasizing that she didn't really care about what others wanted to do so long as it was unrelated to her, rael usually ended up with the role of the patient mediator, able to hear out both sides of the story with the least amount of prejudice.

however, once you stepped on her toe, rael would not hesitate to express her deep displeasure. in her opinion, making oneself clear without holding back was the best method of resolving issues, and she stays true to that philosophy even today. she isn't just sensitive as many prodigies are, she's hypersensitive. with unpredictable mood swings that live up to her chameleon reputation, the safest manner of dealing with the dancer is to be cautious, allowing her to determine the atmosphere before following in. around her, people would be wise to watch their words and behaviour, because rael picks up on body language and nuances in speech deftly; her perception towards others and the excessive response she feels in relation is really no joke. rael's bad temper showing is definitely not something you would want to witness -- either she becomes scathingly aggressive, or she completely closes into herself, giving all an unbearable cold shoulder. (although she reverts back to her typical carefree self eventually, behaving like her anger never even happened, evading any awkwardness.) on the other hand, this also means that she can be a pretty understanding person when she's in the mood to play the reliable older sister, able to empathise by seeing straight through façades and say the exact right comforting words without hurting the other's pride. perhaps she could be viewed as an important part of melodia's support system, the one who was in charge of easing tension and preventing splits.

most characteristic of her, though, is the level of self-possessiveness she has. to a significant degree, she has a sort of superiority complex such that she needs to feel wanted and essential to others. thus, rael has never let go of the belief that in whatever she does, wherever she goes, she has to be at the center of everything; the planets and the sun must all revolve around her, and her alone. back in melodia, she was undoubtedly a vital factor of the group's success and the warm reception they received, further perpetuating that steadfast belief. now that her sole strength is gone, crushed beneath her paralysis, rael feels as though she has lost her identity and her reason for existence. due to that innate desire to be noticed, to have endless attention, rael refuses to move on, to allow her shredded heart and hopes and dreams to be healed by opening her tightly clenched fists to let go. and so, she's stuck somewhere between the brilliance of the past and the pain of the future, a future in which she sees herself as obsolete. beyond vengeance, beyond the dark resentment that's slowly but surely consuming her, rael is determined to yank the focus back to herself again; failing that, she will do whatever it takes to bring down the remaining members of melodia with her, because if she can't stand on the stage to resounding applause, then neither do they deserve that success.

but what people don't seem to comprehend is that rael has developed an unhealthy masochistic addiction to being the tragic villainous antagonist. the accident didn't merely paralyse her waist down; it paralysed her previous logical reasoning to the point that she has grown destructive to everyone -- and she is not an exception to that imminent devastation. a part of her has become unhinged, damaged beyond repair. she is more similar to the glass object collection she has than she would ever willingly admit. although outwardly she's driving all who care away, feigning independence and cynicism, deep down she desperately yearns for someone to hold her close and tell her it's alright, that she can stop looking at the world through a black-and-white filter, that she can stop despising herself with that dark hatred. because, you see, rael gets easily attached and finds releasing her grip on the past painfully difficult, for the truth is, the melodia members meant more to her than she had ever let on, and regrets are scars that remain for a long, long time.

background : rael led a really boring, regular life, in which the only fun aspect was her passion of dancing, introduced by her childhood friend won jongjin. the way she understood how things worked, as long as she maintained reasonably good grades, she would be allowed to dance, so rael forced herself to study hard enough to avoid having the most important thing to her taken away. at home, she shut herself in her room, basically exerting the minimal effort to be nice to her sister and to 'be a part of the family' as her mother put it, because otherwise, she would risk being banned from dancing. sunday church required mandatory attendance, and out of respect to her father, rael went without much complaint. besides leading the normal existence of an average girl whose only distinction was her intense love for dance, nothing interesting occurred.

fatal flaw : the bitter clinging on she has going on

family :

» don baekjun (55) | father | pastor | serene, faithful, idealistic, easygoing | 3.9 (although he kind-of-secretly dotes on his younger daughter more; they're good unless the topic of religion is broached)
» lee yunjin (53) | mother | hagwon mathematics teacher | realistic, opinionated, domineering, hardworking | 3.5 (love-hate relationship)
» don jaeni (19) | sister | college student - switched major from biology to medicine after rael was diagnosed as half-paralyzed | quite selfless, empathetic, positive, observant | 4.3 (loves rael regardless of how much rael pushes her away)

likes :

» dancing
» watching others dance
» mixtapes (finds them romantic)
» listening to the rain (literally downloaded ten hours worth of the sound of rain onto her iPod)
» spotlight
» autumn
» hot chocolate
» camping
» eating melon-flavoured melona in wintry weather
» red bean anything
» the way sunlight filters in through stained glass windows of cathredals
» recently on her playlist: park hyo shin, brown eyed soul, tablo, illa illa by juniel, going crazy by song jieun, the fray, coldplay
»

dislikes :

» being excluded
» having to obey orders she doesn't see the logic behind
» processed fruit juice
» eggs and tofu
» hospitals
» people trying too hard to be nice to her
» facing embarrassment/humiliation
» hearing stupid questions
» wastage
»

habits & hobbies :

» in the past, she had to listen to the sound of rain in order to fall asleep whenever she was upset or frustrated, but now she has to do so every single night
» collects glass figurines
» used to be a pick-up line dispenser in melodia
» used to enjoy horse-riding and cycling; doesn't even want to consider horse-riding therapy currently
» doesn't really keep her promises well
» listens to almost everything with a rain track background

trivia :

» because she rarely eats nowadays, her weight has been rapidly decreasing, and her complexion has been worsing by the day
» she often whispers to herself that she would do anything to swap places with soobi or minhye, because then perhaps the surviving melodia members wouldn't be this broken
» throws a lot of tantrums nowadays
» obsessed with the idea of running away to a place where nobody knows her and just starting over alone
» can wink with either eye
» develops multiple eyelids when she's fatigued or falling sick
» abandoned her catholic faith since the accident
» quite good at cooking & used to reign over the kitchen in the melodia dorms
» used to be very concerned about her appearance, but now she doesn't even try
» excessively takes pain-relieving medication
»
»

shine on stage

stage name : El
position : main dancer, sub-vocal
singing : 62/100
rapping : 15/100
dancing : 100/100
acting : 75/100
variety : 80/100
company changes : none
other : danced back-up for several snsd's korea concerts

stage personality : since rael wasn't all that girly, plus she had the very strong, dependable, chivalrous image of a big brother with a personality that leaned more towards that of a male's, so she was often singled out as the member most of the melodia girls would want to date if she were a guy. when it came to variety, rael was the type to avoid humiliation at all costs but still had a sense of humour to take jokes well, and usually helped dissolve friction between members. performing, however, was her true forte, the place she really shined, unrivalled; her overwhelming stage presence has frequently been commented on and admired because she is somewhat of a natural at drawing the audience in.

trainee history : although she had been scouted by sm when she was twelve after watching her perform at a school festival, rael was only allowed by her father to join at the age of seventeen on the condition that she continue to get good grades. in sm, rael kept to herself, focusing on actually polishing her skills rather than engaging in the emotional struggle and rivalry that was common; while she didn't really make close friends, that solitary training behaviour ensured she didn't make any serious enemies. that said, she couldn't avoid being the target of envy for the star treatment she recieved as a promising dancer, and was subjected to occasional indirect bullying. while rael will forever claim that she was not affected, she went into a slump for several months; the person who pulled her out of it was soobi. in mid-2012, she was placed into test duo called 'Jukeb2x' with soobi/sunbi (up to author) to begin promoting melodia, starting out with covers of popular hip-hop/rock/pop songs, and subsequently replaced sulli as a member of the romantic & idol's season 1 due to clashes with f(x)'s concert tour.

write a fairytale

love interest 1 : jun.k/kim junsu - 2pm (mir/bang cheolyong - mblaq)
personality : a true hot-blooded busan man is kim junsu, and he doesn't take that reputation lightly either. as the leader of 2pm, it is in junsu's innate instinct to put others before himself, and for looking after others to come naturally to him; it doesn't help that he considers himself a regular hero in some drama, so is all the more prepared to be self-sacrificial. he is, undeniably, a ladies' man, and a classic gentleman at that too, equipped with the enviable ability of understanding most women's heart easily; not falling for him is an extremely difficult task. according to the situation, junsu adapts his behaviour and attitude, because he is afraid of negative sentiments directed towards him. that said, he usually manages to make people feel comfortable around him without really trying because of his unpretentious warmth. despite his suaveness, ladies on the receiving end of his endless charm can't help but doubt because he makes dates so perfect they seem surreal, like scenes out of a fairytale, and they wouldn't be too far from the truth -- kim junsu has a little problem called commitment issues combined with a rather fickle heart that's always searching.
background / interactions : after becoming one of the final couple combinations on 'the romantic & idol', rael and junsu continued with their relationship, even if they were separated most of the time and could only communicate via emails (rael wasn't allowed a handphone back then). but four months down the road, the stress of being under constant scrutiny and busy schedules began to take its toll, and they came to a consensus to cool off for a while to sort out their feelings. rael is sincere about loving him, though she isn't sure what love exactly is, whereas junsu was still holding back, hesitating over whether he should break it off before he broke her heart when the accident happened. now, he can't be certain if his automatic reaction to want to protect her stems from true love or pity, and is reluctant to be by her side to heal her despite her continuous asking because he just may end up having to abandon her ultimately. besides, as an idol of a popular group, he has a lot to lose and can't throw himself into romanticising recklessly with an image to look after.

love interest 2 : eric nam - soloist (kang minhyuk - cnblue)
personality : everything sweet, fluffy, good and nice was brought together to form eric nam, the perfect guy any girl would want to date and any guy would want to be. unfortunately for him, virtually all his positive traits can evolve into negative traits too, because his exceedingly considerate manner and overwhelmingly tenderness can become too much to bear for a girl, even causing her to feel as though her flaws were exposed further next to him. eric is also known as the idol who doesn't really care about keeping up a pure image, but is loved by both fans and other idols nevertheless because of his friendliness and contagious cheerfulness. playful and mischievous at times, he has a great sense of humour that puts people at ease immediately.
background / interactions : to eric who sees everything and everyone as beautiful, rael is a tragic figure his heart aches to gather into his warm embrace, and subconsciously he struggles to examine himself carefully before he falls in love with a mirage, an illusion he created alone as he has done on countless occasions. but writing song after song with her wheelchair-bound silhouette flickering at the edges of his mind, he can't stop himself from being drawn to her, no matter how brutal she is towards him.

love interest 3 : won jongjin - oc
personality : despite (or perhaps because of) his failing sight, the loyal childhood friend of rael is determined to live as he always has: recklessly, without giving a damn to others' opinion of him, spiralling further and further out of control and deeper into the chaos he has been addicted to since he first experienced it. when he isn't occupied with the objective of chasing adrenaline rushes, jongjin is given to depressing contemplation that generally lead nowhere except to the conclusion that life is pointless and the future is bleak. debonair, insensitive, careless, cynical -- he is the epitome of the 'bad boy' stock character, treating only select people with selfless protectiveness and genuine warmth from the shadows.
background / interactions : as rael's childhood friend featuring in her earliest memories, jongjin knows practically everything about her. at least, he did, up till he discovered that he was losing his vision around the same period melodia was set to debut. he was an aspiring writer; to be bereft of sight was something he could not accept, and against his better judgement, he called her to let her know, hoping for some comfort. instead, rael brushed him off, too tired and absorbed in her own troubles to bother noticing his. hurt, jongjin left seoul to tour japan, a trip he had always wanted to make with rael but had to do now before he couldn't see, thus fading out quietly from her life. when she finally realised he was gone, rael could do nothing except send a thousand unanswered emails, leave a million voicemails. but an idol's daily routine is never easy, and she couldn't afford to worry about him soon. which is why he was the last person she would expect to show up at jaehyun's doorstep in her darkest hour of need, banging madly on the door as he yelled her name repeatedly. she who loved him relentlessly once, and he who understood too late his feelings for her -- perhaps the gods are merely messing with them.

story of love : up to the author/depending on the flow of the story

goals : stop the rest of melodia from moving on without her

level of education : graduated from seoul institute of the arts in the department of dance, but never attended the graduation ceremony because by then, she was already half-paralysed

the car accident : how can rael not possibly be scarred? her last words to minhye were harsh and stepped way over the line all because she'd pointed out, indisputably, that her dancing was under the weather lately, and, trivial as it had seemed at that time, she had forgotten to prepare the packed lunch she'd been promising soobi for months, waving it off with a flippant "sorry darling, i'll remember tomorrow". those memories still torment her whether she's wide awake or fitfully attempting sleep. of course, there is also the matter of damage caused to her spinal cord upon impact, resulting in her becoming paralyzed waist down, her lower body obtaining surgical scars that stand out obviously against her sallow skin; then there are the light yet ugly burn marks marring her neck

aftermath : refuse physiotherapy, throw tantrums, wallow in self-pity, hatred, and misery, as well as resisting any attempts made to help her, causing her impatient mother to give up on her, so rael had to seek a roof over her head from jaehyun (because jongjin doesn't have a place of his own either).

closing stage

comments, questions, or concerns? : okay i'm not sure if it was clear, but basically i was trying to convey the fact that rael is a very conflicted person who's tearing apart in a tug-of-war between many things, like whether to support melodia or to destroy them etc. o r z horrible application was horrible. also the junel relationship was heavily inspired by the romantic & idol episodes i can't believe i just watched the whole of season one after discovering hyejeong as a potential face claim s0bs. also i am super extremely very especially sorry for my rambling and multiple contradictions ugh haven't written an application in forever and this is the result. forgive me?
idols your character might date : anyone who is prepared to mend all the shattered fragments of rael together again, and has the patience to withstand her volatile temper
password : twenty|one|pilots
scene requests : -
other : (will be adding onto the listing section when i can think of more)

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