Ok... This is just gonna be me ranting about being the youngest of my family. I just had to let this out cause i'm so fed up with this.

So, obviously, i'm the youngest in my family. I have three siblings, two older sisters and one older brother. I'm actually the youngest in my whole clan, both father and mother side, excluding my neices and nephews. Although i'm the youngest, I felt a bit forced to act mature because of my older sister. She was a little childish and too care free, and a bit rebelious, so I had to take care of her. Somehow, I served as her older sister, although I was younger. As a child, I was always so quiet and anti-social. My whole world revolved around my sister and my family. Back then, I didn't have any problems with my family. I was really happy.

A few years ago, me and my sister had a big fight, resulting to us not talking. Up until now, me and my older sister don't talk. The relationship between me and my parents has also been a bit rocky, and now they don't have any spark any more. My parents are still married, but they don't act like a married couple. They even live in different houses. I am currently living with my mom, as well as my other siblings. My dad would visit us at times. Because of me and my sister's fight, I spent a few months away from my family. There were times that I stayed with my dad at our old house and times when I stayed at a condo by myself. I kind of got detached from my family, and me and my family drifted apart. Soon, I returned to living with my mom and my siblings, although it was a bit awkward. I felt so foreign around them when I came back. It was like I was an outcast.

It's been a while since i've been staying here and all I had recently was a headache. Recently, i've been letting my friends sleep here at our place. Our place was kind of small, and me, my eldest sister, and my mom are sharing a room. My eldest sister has a boyfriend whom she sometimes brings here and they sleep at my brother's room. At times she would sleep at her boyfriend's place. At times like those, I let my friends sleep on my sister's bed. Just a few days ago, my mom was out for the night for an outing with her office mates. Me and my friends had the room all to ourselves. We went out for a while and came back only to find out that my eldest sister was there. She was planning on using the room but we were there. She soon decides to go to my brother's room instead, with her boyfriend. Before going inside my brother's room, she said "I can't wait to leave this place". Ok... that was rude. If I were to say that in front of her friends, she would probably roll her eyes on me and call me rude and childish. And yet she does this!? Who's childish now? -_- Her leaving our place is actually a concer of our family. My sister is already 26 years old and she already has a stable job and a stable boyfriend. We kept on waiting and waiting for her to move out, but she keeps on being dependent to our parents. Her inability to settle down was also in our recent argument. In a way, I do admit that i'm a lazy and there are times when I become lazy to go to school, which, if you ask me, is alright since i'm in home school program. I can control my studies. It was one morning, I was preparing food with my friend when she suddenly went to the kitchen and started getting mad at me about how I was wasting electricity, that I was nothing but a pain to my parents, and that I would never graduate high school. I'm freaking 16, I still have time. And suddenly she stupidly tells me that she was already in college at the age of 17... I dunno if she's stupid with math or what. I'm 16 and i'll be 17 when I graduate and when I start college. I might even start college earlier. Just stupid... and she's supposed to be the eldest -_- And me, being me, I fought back and brought up her inability to settle in and that she was the pain to our family. Soon, my other sister steps in and tells us to shut up. I told my mother what happened and soon my sister sends me a text saying sorry and that she didn't mean what she did. I didn't say sorry though... cause I meant what I said.

What I also don't understand is that my eldest sister keeps on ing with my life. She keeps on telling me that she's been through what i'm going through and stuff and i'll soon get over these stuff. She even tells me that she was once addicted to chinese pop, just like how I am with kpop, and that i'll get over kpop. She also brings kpop down just because she wants to. Being 16, I strongly believe that having sleep overs is normal. She had sleep overs with her friends when she was 16, yet she keeps on complaining when I have my friends around. I don't get why she keeps on ruining my teenage life. I'm a teenager! These things are normal. off! Just because she's gone through that stuff, doesn't mean she should steal the chance of me experiencing those stuff. Why does she have to act like she knows everything when she doesn't?! Just because i'm the youngest, she automatically looks down on me and the things that I do -_- When I do something wrong, she brings me down, yet she does the same and thinks high of herself. Wow... that's so mature -_-

We once also fought about me not doing the dishes and her doing them... But she forgot one thing... I wasn't raised to wash dishes. Ok, I didn't mean that in a cocky or assy way. What I meant was, I grew up with maids. My parents hired maids to take care of those stuff. Sure, my sister was raised doing the dishes and stuff because she's the oldest, but I wasn't. I don't get how they expect me to do something that I wasn't raised doing. How do they expect me to do something that others usually do? Ok, i'm not saying that I don't know how to wash the dishes. I do, really. I just don't get why they make it such a big deal when they were the ones who raised me in a way that I really don't wash dishes. Some of you may think i'm spoiled in this way, but think about it. How would you feel if someone suddenly expects you to do something you don't really do and what they didn't really teach you to do.

Another thing about being the youngest is that my parents are really clingy to me. People usually say that being the youngest means you'll be spoiled by your parents and stuff and that being the youngest would mean you'll receive a lot of love and stuff... well sometimes the love is too much. Since my parents are, in a way, seperated, my mom has become quite clingy to me. My brother is going abroad to work soon, my eldest sister will probably get married (finally!) to her boyfriend, and my other sister will go to the US with my sister, so that leaves me alone with my mom. It isn't really that good of a thing cause I really want to do a lot of things. Somehow, being with my mom restricts me from doing those things. I love my mom, and I don't want to leave her, but I also have my friends, my interests, and my future. I can't always be with my mom. Yes, i'm still young and i'm supposed to be with my parents, but I want to start early with my dreams. I don't want to be so dependent to my parents especially with my desire to finally be independent.

Yes, being the youngest is fun, at first, but as you grow up, you'll realize otherwise. Too many people would want you to stay a child, while others will force you into one, You'll also be looked down on by others. Although, not all these happen with all the youngest people in their families, but it did happen to me and it's stil happening. Being the youngest really isn't all that easy.

And before you guys tell me that being the eldest is much harder because they expect of you and stuff, let me tell you this... my parents expects a lot from me yet expects nothing. Confusing? It is. They expect me to do things and be successful yet they degrade me so much just because i'm younger than my other siblings. -_-

Is anyone experiencing the same things as me? T^T