whenever i tried to write, i looked at donghae and i saw a blank paper, i could draw whatever i want on it and at the same time i could do whatever i want to it, i could turn it into a paper plane, i could even set fire to it and watch it burn slowly from the edges until the whole paper was swallowed up in flame and turned to ash and then i could smear the ashes on my hands and use it to draw on another piece of paper

but i looked at hyukjae and i saw...a picture of a kitten, or a puppy, or something that you just didn't have the heart to alter or destroy. it's like i couldn't even pick up a pen and write my name on that picture even if that picture actually belonged to me. all i could do was put it in a frame, have it printed on a t-shirt, or wrap it up nicely to give as a present. i didn't dare to change what it initially was.

i tried reversing it and it just came out...awkward, uncomfortable, and at times it even felt wrong.

really, is it just me?