Sigh... I'm just really anxious for my future... College is coming up and like veryone else, I get the questions: "what do you want to be when you grow up?", "what courses are you going to take?" and such things... But.. The thing is... I don't want to go to college to do something I don't want to be doing for the rest of my life... Does that make sense? Because, ask me that question, "what do you want to be when you grow up" - ever since I could talk, my answer has always been "Famous". Never once in my life have I hesitated, said I wanted to be a doctor, or a princess, my answer has always been famous, and it will never change. What I'm trying to get at is... I'm just feeling so pressured to choose a 'career' that will benefit other people and not myself... I feel like, if I get to college and I choose science courses, I'd be making my parents happy but I won't be happy. If I go into the arts, my parents would be alright with that but I still wouldn't be happy... I don't know what courses to take because the one job I want is to share my dream and my passion for singing, dancing and performing with the world. Have you ever felt like you weren't really good at anything except one thing and that thing gives you motivation to feel like you can conquer the world? That's what dancing is for me... It literally is the whole of my existance, the air that I breathe.... I feel like, dancing is the only thing I can do right in this world, performing is the only time where I feel like true self. Well... What I'm getting at is just, I feel like I need to give everyone around me a 'valid' answer to those questions but I can't because I want to be a performer. Which no one in my family has ever wanted to do, so I think it scares them... It scares my parents beacause they know I won't be making money anytime soon.. But I don't care about thee money because what if I do become a doctor and have money?? I won't care, because I'll be living someone else's dream and I'll be so miserable. I was soooo close to having an audition with SM again but my parents didn't pay the extra fee so we could stay in LA for my audition... I understand where their coming from... But I'm extremely hurt... Knowing I was so close to achieving my dream but because of money, I can't get there. I'm feeling so stuck(Though, I did fail my first audition with them, however I was younger and had much less experience and practice than me now)... I feel obligated to choose a job that wil make other people happy... But while doing that... I'm afraid I won't find my hapiness. Why is it so hard to accept that being a performer is what I want to in life? Why does everyone around me see that it's the thing I'm truly passionate about yet they still push me to beomce something I'm not?