Sometimes, I wonder how it feels like to celebrate my birthday with friends and anyone because I'm not allowed to celebrate it.

I wonder how it feels when they baked a cake for you with Happy Birthday and name. 

And the surprise party... I always like surprise parties lmao but pls dont add pranks on a surprise party because ill definitely hate that and cry a lot that ill forgive you in few days lmao kind of hahaha

But i guess im used to it that i dont expect anything but can't i have atleast a small party like with few people? Lmao

I started to feel like this because when i saw some pictures that fans made this and that for their idols and everything.

Like EVERYTHING IS JUST FOR YOU AND NO ONE ELSE AND IZZZZ YOUR DAY

Especially, even though they are so far away they still made time for them and ugh omg im so idk 

Idk i guess im having a bad day before my birthday lmao