Kansamnida, all of you whom have been supporting this story.  From Ping, my first subscriber and most faithful commenter to Shirleynygfam my latest subscriber. All of you are awesome and I will mention you all indidually when i post the entire chapter, but it's 10:30 and I need to be up at 5.  I remember when I hit 500 views, I now have over 5,000, truly thankful., Considering I just decided I'd try my hand at this after reading some great stories.  I didn't even tell my husband until after the first few chapters were up.  He finally wondered why I kept asking for the computer.  LOL

Anyways...

Mianhae, I didn't finish the chapter yet, but I did finish the scene everyone's been waiting for.  This is just a rough draft and not set in stone, although I don't forsee any major changes.  So in honor of my story's 1st year anniversary...ta da 'neo paboya'

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Jihoo walked in and closed the door to ensure their privacy.

 - "Neo paboya (Are you stupid)?"  Jihoo said in a restrained monotone or else he was going to start yelling.  He'd been wanting to ask her that for weeks.  Today she would not escape his frustration.

Ilana stiffened at the sound of his voice, but otherwise remained quiet, thinking no response was required.

 - "Anja (Sit)."  Ilana remained staring out the window.  Since she didn't respond, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the couch.  "Anja," louder this time, grabbing her shoulders and making her sit.

Ilana remained looking straight ahead, past Jihoo, the only tell tale sign of her nervousness was the rapid rise and fall of her chest.

 - "Hangukmal hasil jul aseyo (Do you speak Korean)?"  He knew the answer to this, but wanted her to say it.

 - "Yae, jogeumyo (Yes, a little)," Ilana responded quietly.

 -  "Why do you hide your talents?  It's not modesty, you're hiding yourself."  The decibels of his voice fluctuating between high and low.  "Wae?"  He said quietly.

Ilana thought about her answer before responding.

 - "...but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers.''  Jihoo gave a wry smile and responded to her in kind.

 - "Shall I ask you why a women of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers?''  Ilana widened her eyes and looked at him in surprise.  "High school students in Korea must read 'Pride and Prejudice' as well.  Are you going to answer?"

 - "I've neither sense nor have lived in the world.  All I have is education."  Jihoo thought this was a good start.  She was looking at him and raising her voice.

 - "Sense can be mastered by practicing and you can participate in the world by living day by day. Don't you care that you could have died? Were you trying to kill yourself?  Abigaíl was worried sick about you.  Don't you care that others care about you?"   He was yelling again.

 - "It's too hard."  She whispered.

 - "What is?"

 - "Life, having people care about you.  It's too much responsibility.  I think caring for others is easier, but only if you don't get too attached.  I don't think I was trying to kill myself, maybe unintentionally.  We wouldn't be having this discussion if I had died.  Suzy wouldn't have had to come to New York."  She tried to smile at her really bad joke.  She heard Jihoo sigh in frustration.  "I can't help it, sometimes I think it would be easier on everyone if I did die.  If I could help it, I'd be in California, not New York.  The answer to your questions is mollah, mollah, mollah!  Eotteoke!"  Jihoo wasn't done with her yet.

 -  "Are you anorexic?"  He knew her weight problem was due to her depression, but he had to make sure there wasn't another cause.

 - "Do I have a distorted body image?"  Ilana stood up again and he didn't try to sit her back down.  "Of course not, I wish it were that easy."  She was at the window again.

 - "Can you tell me what 'it' is?  What happened to you that made living such an inconvenience?"

 - " It's not your concern, Dr. Jihoo."

 - "Anieyo!  It became my concern when I found you half dead."

 - "Arraso, I'll be your servant until that debt is paid.  I can't cook great, but I can follow recipes, I'm handy with a computer, and my apartment isn't a mess, so I can keep your's clean too.  I'll welcome the extra work.  I won't have to think."  Jihoo was about ready to shake her, instead he turned her to face him.  She was glaring at him, but he wanted her angry, angry enough to fight this apathy she was in.

 - "Pabo nuen(dumb girl), you need help!"

 - "I told you before, I don't need a counselor."  She had been staring past him, but now looked directly at him in bold determination.

 - "I didn't say counselor, you need a friend."  Ilana was surprised at this statement.

 - "I have friends."  At least that on that note she could defend herself.

 - "You use their friendship because they aren't here to hold you accountable."

 - "How da..."  He cut her off.

 - "They can only hope you do what's best for you.  I can help you," he spoke a little gentler.

 - "I didn't ask for your help."

 - "Anieyo, but your friends did, on more than one occasion.  Am I supposed to say 'anieyo, let her be mecheoso'? Ilana's fists were clenched.  "She's not my concern."

 - "You could have, I've said it before, I am not your concern."

 - "How selfish and self-centered are you trying to be in order to push people away."  Ilana tried to avert her eyes again.  She was selfish and she hated herself for it, but self-centered?  Jihoo grabbed her face so she couldn't turn away.

 - "Yah!"  She couldn't pu,, away.

 - "You like working here don't you?"

 - "Are you threatening me?"

 - "Anieyo, but if you get sick again like this, you'll be considered a liability and Sung Ryung will have no choice but to let you go.  The director is an aquaintance of your family?"  Ilana bit her lip in worry.  "Do you want news of your self-neglect to get back to them?"  She nodded her head in defeat.  "Chuah," he let go of her.  "Anja, juseyo."  This time she complied.  He sat next to her and took one of her clenched hands in his.  I can help you.  I can say I know how you feel.  If it weren't for my friends, I wouldn't be here today.  One friend taught me how to live and another to care about others and not just myself.  The others, the family I didn't have."

 - "What do you mean by that?"  Alright, curiosity got to her. He smiled, releived he at least got some reaction from her.

 - "We'll talk more after I get back.  We'll have these counseling session's often."

 - "Did I agree?"

 - "Anieyo, I didn't ask."

 - "I don't like being told what to do."  She stood back up and headed for the door.  Faster than her, Jihoo grabbed her wrist again.  "Knock it off!"  She shook herself free.

 - "When you can make healthier choices, you won't be told what to do."

 - "Aaaahhhh!  I hate you!"  She didn't really, but was angry.

 - "Hate me all you want, just stop hating yourself!"  Ilana pushed him back with all her stength and stormed out the door.  He was done for now, or he would've grabbed her back once more.  This was goint to be interesting to say the least.

Saranghae