I exceeded word limit.... Help me shorten this...

After the long bus ride, we finally reach Everland park. We passed by Everland theme park and went to Caribbean Bay. Caribbean bay is a water park located on the outskirts of Seoul. The ticket price is pretty expensive, but it was worth the fun we had there. After settling all into a locker and applying layers of sunscreen, we went to the family rides first as we were going to be separated later. My parents went for the indoor course to relax from the fatigue week. My brother and I went for all thrilling and exciting rides. His favorite ride is dropping from 18 meters and a lope 360 degree. I enjoyed floating in the wave pool with a life jacket on as the wave swept by. Summer in Seoul is sizzling, so come to Caribbean Bay to chill.

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shining_writer #1
After the long bus ride, we finally reached Everland park. We passed by Everland theme park and went to Caribbean bay, which is a water park located on the outskirts of Seoul. The ticket price is expensive, but worth the fun we had there. After settling all into a locker and applying layers of suncreen, we went to the family rides first, as we were going our separate ways later. My parents went for the indoor course to relax from the fatigable week. My brother and I went for all the thrilling rides. His favourite is dropping from 18 meters and a lope 360 degrees. I enjoyed floating in the wave pool with a life jacket on as the wave swept by. Summer in Seoul is sizzling, so come to Caribbean Bay to chill.

Done, is this okay? I changed some words because of the inconsistencies as well. What do you need this for?
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