I dont normally share out like this... but I might as well since I have no where else to turn too...

I'm not the type whos popular. On this cite, I'm lucky enough to even have one subscriber or one comment to my stories. heck if anyone is reading this and actually cares, I consider that luck too. I dont normally write about the popular stuff because its obviously not me and I just dont feel comfortable writing group ships. Which is probably why my stories arent as popular as most stores are.  I'm sure some of us can relate. I never was so confident in most of the things I've done... I'm the typical shy girl who wanted nothing more to have an easy life and to fit in with rest of the crowad.  I have made mistakes that I regret doing and wish I could go back in time to fix them all. I know I slack at times and I get it wont do any good if I dont act right on point. Have I ever felt a burden to my family? Yes at times I did. I would think why I was even born into this famly, as if I didnt belong. There have been times where I just wanted to give up... however I didnt. I continued to go on. 

I am now a high school graduate, about to enter the college life. They say its a whole new chapter when leaving a school you have been at for a good four years. It still feels unreal. I dont think I even have what it takes to take on the things that happen in the "real" world. I still feel like a kid wh needs help. I admit I'm a slow learner. But I already feel pressure. If I even mess up once, it'll be the end. There wont be a next time. I hate change. Yes its the way of life but after four years of high school, I learn something new about myself... I hate change. I hate disappointing the ones I love. I'm afriad to let people down. If I dont live up to the expectations, I feel burdened... I let that effect me too much. I care about others peope's opinons and how they see me. Its like if I lose a subscriber when I'm in the middle of updating I feel sorry that I didnt have the power to have them stay. i always question what I did wrong. I always think negative... I try to look on the bright side... but no matter how hard I pray and hope for the best, I know its going to end bad.

If only my luck could be turned around. I understand that no one is perfect... but sometimes its the matter of luck. I consider myself unlucky. If someone were to tell me I had to live with change... I wish they would of told me that years ago...