I feel like i'm drowning, i'm literally struggling to breathe...

this year snsd has been slowly revealing their relationships and i thought i was okay with it..

but now as more members are being revealed it brings a pain to my heart, i'm struggling to breathe, i'm drowning in my tears..

i'm not against them dating but there's a huge part of me wishing that they had kept it a secret but there's also a part of me that's glad that they're getting to live a somewhat normal life...

i feel so selfish, not wanting them to reveal their relationships but it honestly feels like someone has just ripped my heart out and tore it to shreds...i'm literally slowly dying this year with all the relationships