OK. SO. The full epilogue with everything mashed together. It'll (hopefully) make more sense than the last one i posted! 

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Today was a bright sunny day. Today was one of those days that seems like something incredible will happen but in my perspective, it was just a torture machine. Augustus had died two years ago but for me, it was just yesterday when we were in Amsterdam. And now, it’s all gone, slipped right through my fingers. All I truly have left are my memories and sometimes, they aren’t enough.

I had something to remind me of him, but it had managed to escape me. Am I that horrible to be around? The letter from Augustus, I had thought, for almost two years, that the letter was for me, but my serenity all came crashing down last week when the truth was forced down my throat. The letter wasn’t for me, it never was and it never will be. It was merely just a last minute readjustment that Augustus had made. After all, I was only his last charity case, surely he didn’t want me to become suicidal because of him and ruin his golden reputation.

The only thing that is bothering me to no end is the identity of the original receiver of the letter. I’ve tried everything in the last week to find out. Peter Van Houten was nowhere near sober enough to even utter a simple greeting. His parents were like me, still grieving the loss of their child, they were already in so much pain; what was the point of adding more burdens to their shoulders?

Then there was Isaac, Augustus’ best friend. After a year and a half, our country’s medical team finally invented those bionic eyes. But Isaac managed to stand by his promise to Augustus, and still remains blind to this day. If he was able to do that for him, then he must know something about the letter. That was the reason why I was currently standing in front of Isaac’s house.

Being the faithful friend he was, Isaac wouldn’t tell me anything. I pleaded, I begged, I tried making him deals but he still wouldn’t budge. It made me even more curious, who could the girl be? I waved goodnight and started my walk back when suddenly I heard urgent honking coming from the side. I looked up to see a truck coming right at me. Before my reflexes could kick in, my sight was blinded by the truck’s headlights and everything went numb.

I can see him directly in my line if vision. The man I was searching for all this time, Augustus Waters. My one and only love, and my soul mate. He’s so close yet when I try to touch him, I cannot reach him.

“…you.” Huh? I couldn’t comprehend what he was trying to tell me.

“I miss you.” It was louder this time. But why would he miss me? We were right in front of each other. My brain wasn’t processing any of this; it didn’t want to process any of this. Augustus lifted up a finger as if he was point towards someone behind me and screamed.

I was so confused. Why was he screaming? Is he scared of something behind me? But there wasn’t anything or anyone behind me. But suddenly, I felt something wrap itself around my neck and squeezed. My lungs had shut down completely. Everything turned to black. I had drifted off…until I realized. I realized that Augustus was still back there, there with the monster. The idea of him getting hurt again was so unbearable. If only I could open my eyes…if only…

The first thing I saw was white. White walls, white ceilings, white lights, white sheets. Everything was white meaning I was at the hospital…again. Then, I remembered, Augustus, he was still back there with the monster. I started calling for help, screaming actually until my mom ran into my room.

“Hazel, baby what’s wrong?”

“He…Augustus…he…he’s in danger…the monster…” I couldn’t finish my story; the idea of him being in danger was just too much.

“Oh, honey…” I looked up to see my mom gazing at me with pitiful eyes…why was she like that? Why is she looking at me like she’s about to cry?

I spent the rest of the week like a zombie; going in and out of consciousness thanks to the tubes and medicine that are all going into my body. But my mind is filled with only one thing: Augustus. No matter what happens to me, he will always be a part of me that I can never erase.

After the drugs start to fade away, I managed to get my lucidity back. Angry whispers, that’s the first thing I hear. Right away I could make out the woman’s voice to be my mom. But why is she so mad? What’s wrong? Then I realized that a lot of things were wrong. Why am I in a hospital bed? What’s the meaning of all of this? Why isn’t Augustus right by my side?

My curiosity was suddenly cut off by my mom and her telling me that I had a visitor. I looked out the window; it was pitch black out there, who would come now? A few seconds of feet shuffling later, I looked up to be greeted with a pair of eyes covered by sunglasses. Isaac. We haven’t talking to each other in so long, what could he need that is so urgent?

The first words he said to me, “the letter…”

“What about it? What letter?”

“Do you really not don’t remember? Are you playing a joke right now?”

“Um. Not really but mind explaining?”

“If you really don’t remember, then I’ll just tell you one thing: Caroline Mathers.”

Wasn’t that the name of Augustus’ ex-girlfriend? What does she have to do with anything, much less a letter that I don’t even remember? I was about to push him for more answers but I was a little too late. By the time I refocused onto him, he was gone. I was just looking at an empty spot by the wall.

I try to listen for voices, hoping that he’s still outside, but instead of Isaac, I heard my mom having a pretty heated conversation with another man.

 “…selective amnesia…minor depression…”

“…doctor, she has to be alright…”

My brain picked this moment to start functioning again; trying to solve the puzzle that was my memories. Then I remembered it all; my cancer, meeting Augustus Waters, our whirlwind romance, Amsterdam, his diagnosis, Augustus dying, the grievance, and the last letter.  It had all came back to me. Everything made sense now.

No matter how many times I tell myself that he’s not worth it, that he never truly loved me and never will, my heart would counterattack my thoughts and force me to admit that he was arguably the one and only love of my life. What happened before was just a nightmare…but why do I feel like it is still continuing? Or is it just that my life currently is so much worse than a nightmare?

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Lemme hear what you think about it and like yeaaa. c: