I've been kept this feeling for 12 years. If you were me, can you handle that feeling? I'm sure you would move on the other man because he will never accept your feeling. That happen to me until now. Well there story behind this feeling.

It was in the end of the year 2002

My family and I moved to my mother birth country and well it kind of awkward because the surrounding is sure different from my father birth country. But I relieved because people here are really friendly. There was a boy approached me and asked me to become his friend. And I gladly accepted his offered. From that day, I always followed him everywhere (well, not to the toilet..hihi).

Year 2003, school registered (elementary school) - 2007

After my mother took me to register to my new homeroom teacher, this boy (my first friend from the earlier) took me to the class. At first, I kinda nervous but my friend comfort me. He said I will get new friend because the classmates are really friendly. When we entered the class, the first thing I saw was a boy with curly hair but he's cute (now he's handsome). I think I'd falling in love for the first sight. He approached me and asked for a handshake. After that day, we also become friend. Not just a friend, but BESTFRIEND. Our homeroom teacher is his mother. He always invited me to his house and bedroom (don't imagine wild things..we just 8, 9, 10 years old on the year he invited me). 

On the third year of our friendship, he asked me, "hmm..what do you want for your birthday present?" I stopped for a while from my work. "A dictionary." "Why a dictionary?" he looked at me. "hmm..well, my English is not good as yours. So I need a dictionary to improve my language and we can talk in english." I just grinned at him. "Okay."

On my birthday, which was on the weekend, he messaged me, "Happy Birthday, may God bless you. Thank you for being my friend. hmm...would you like to go to the school playground? I have something to say and give." I rushed to the playground. "What it is?" I asked him. He smiled at me shyly and said, "Happy Birthday." "Umm..Thank you? I think you already wish me." I smiled at him. "hmm..I have something to give you." he lent me a beautiful wrapped present. I amazed at him. " What is this?" " Open it if you want to know." he smiled sheepishly. I unwrapped the present and found out a dictionary, but there was a sentence wrote on it "MY MOST PRECIOUS DICTIONARY- (his name, I don't want to mention..hihi) "But, this is your most precious dictionary." I looked at him. he just smiled and said, "Nah, as long as this dictionary with you, I don't have to feel anxious. ^^"

After a few months, it would be his birthday. I prepared his present. On his birthday, it was raining. The day before his birthda, he messaged me to come over. Unfortunately, I can't came because of the rain. "Mom, can I go to his house? Today is his birthday." I whined to my mother. "No, Dear. Now is raining. You might get sick." then she left me in the living room. I cried (such a cry baby). Then I received a message from him,

HIM : _______, do you come over? Me and other friends are waiting for you.

ME : hmm..my mother don't want me to go out because of the rain :(

HIM : wait...

I scratched my unitchy head. After a few minutes, he came with other friends. "__________, come on. Get on my bicycle" (well not a bike because we still under ages) I still looked at them blankly. He laughed heartedly. "Come on. What are you waiting for?" "My mother..." "It's okay. Come on." He smiled at me. This guy is surely really like to smile. I hopped on his bicycle and grabbed his hem of shirt. "Let's go!" He screamed and the others followed him. Birthday Party.

Last year in elemantary school

We had our entranced exam to get in high school. And both of us get straight A's. He approached me to congratulate me. I to do the same. But, he also said, "my girlfriend also congratulate you." He smiled. But it kinda stabbed my heart. I just faking my smile. but he knew afterall. "Are you okay?" Do I looked okay? I screamed the sentence in my mind. "Nah, I'm okay. Let's go. We need to take our graduate from elementary school picture with others. I quicken my pace. He just followed me behind. 

High school until now

Our friendship became loose. Well, I don't know how to say. But we still classmate. It kind of an awkward situation around us. We barely talked to each other. Just talked about study. I had know that he always changed his girlfriends. One day, I couldn't stand my feeling anymore. I meet him when the others went out for recess. A day before, he just broke up with his girlfriend which is the girl is my bestfriend yet my roommate. "_______, I like you. I like you since our first meet," I confessed at him. Well it is very embarassing thing I ever done. He stared at me blankly. "What?" Right now, I felt like want to bury myself on the ground. "Nah, never mind." I walked away. From that day, we not talked to each other. But the fate like to play with us. We always end up in the same class until we graduate the high school. #he was the school president in elementary school and I am the vice president. But in high school, I am the school president and he was my vice.

Guys, I think I still like him.. ani, ani.. now I love him. T_T really pity me.. This is REAL STORY. NOT a fiction. my real life story.. WHAT SHOULD I DO?????

I edit this a little because of my grammar mistakes. Well I'm not a native english speaker..hihi.. Still in the process to improve it.. Thank You.. *bows90degree*