I kind of feel like I'm going in circles. A lot. 


I just seem to be in rut, and it's not good. I haven't been sleeping and it's leaving me with more time to write.

I use my fanfiction to destress, and unwind, it writing relaxes me a lot. (It also stresses me out in a different way) 

I've been trying to write the same chapter of the same story for a few weeks, and the last few hours I've found myself unable to get annywhere near the point I want to be at in the story. I feel like I'm dragging it out, but that if I take "this" out then it will be lacking too. I tried focusing on something else- I've got a one-shot that I'm kind of very in love with, and it isn't finished, but I find I'm doing the same thing, dragging it out and I'm unable to make it go where I wan't it to be. It's a little based of personal experience, and I'm now finding I'm romanticizing it too much- 

Is bad to be in love with fiction? 

I don't know anymore- I feel like I'm floating around by myself and I don't really have a reason to do anything anymore. //shrugs// 

I have a friend, and he's older, and I was talking to him this morning on kakao, he told me he works all the time, because he has to, it's cheaper for his company to get him to work overtime, than to hire another person to split the work load. I asked if he liked his job- if he works so much- he laughed at me, told me that he has to work, he just does it. And it kind of scared me- like- what if I end up doing something I hate doing for the rest of my life?  What if I end up miserable? It's possible, I mean, I've already pretty much given up on my dream job (I'll never be able to afford a second degree). I just feel like my life isn't the  way I wanted it to be- I blame disney (I also blame myself.) 

I dunno. Ignore me. It's probably best to.