I'm so sorry. I hope you don't feel guilty because you didn't know and couldn't do anything about it, but this is something only she could handle. I think you should talk with your friends about it so that you're not alone, this helped a friend a lot when her mother suddenly died. I'm sorry I'm not a great help...
Its so weird having someone close to you feeling like that... That its better to go somewhere were its pitch black and were you cant even think.
And I understand youre feeling about wanting to kill her if she was alive. Its not like you acctualy want to have her dead, right?! You just want her to realize she is better than this, that she doesnt deserve to die.
I know what its like being in her position, feeling like the world is against you and that no mather how much you try, nothing will ever, ever be enough. I can understand cuting herself, I can understand WANTING that darkness. WHat I cant understand is acctualy doing it.
I think you need to think that, no mather what she was you friend right?
Nothing you did could have saved her. Only she had the power to save herself. Only she knew how to get better and not take that final step.
Dont be sad, and think that if she did take that step, maybe that was the best for her =( Its hard to take in, but its the right thing to do =D
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