Lemme talk about my crush~ Actually I have a tons of crush since 2012. They are all handsome and tall (except Roy Kim) hahahaha

Ohkai, I got this crush in 2012. You might don't want to know about him, but I'm bored so I'm going to talk about him. This crush is my first love like seriously, (I have a boyfriend when I was 12 and I don't think he's my first love)

Before I talk about the incident that made me fall for him, let me describe him. 

He is handsome, he got Daehyun's eye, and when you look at him, he looks like neither of these three -- Baekhyun, V and Daehyun. He also looks like Chanyeol, maybe his lip was like his. I'm an Asian, so Asian guy isn't that tall (Korean and Chinese guy is an exception) he was about.. 1.65 m maybe? 

He has no hair on his leg, and he looks really charming! Like a prince. He always rolls up his sleeves (we wear school uniform, and because he is a prefect, he has to wear long sleeve shirt) until his elbow, and that made him looks hot!

Ohkai, just an addition, my ex in 2011 looks like Yongguk from B.A.P. Serious.

 

I fell in love  saw him for the first time when he moved to our class, 3-1. My first thought/impression was,

"He is handsome. I think he will be my boyfriend this year."

 

+ Actually, (this happened on the last day of 2011) I once dreamed about a guy that I liked but he seriously didn't like me back on 31 December 2011-1 January 2012. I think that dream came true ouo

 

So that's what I thought about. The teacher then asked him to sit behind me, and we became friends that day. He actually has a cousin in the same class, which was Girl Joowon (fake name ahahhaha) and Girl Joowon who sat next to me was the one who told the teacher to make him sit at the back of us. There, the love story started.

He sat behind my back, and the incident that made me fell in love with him was..... he shake hands with me that day. 

 

Come to think of it, I think it was ridiculous for me falling for him, just because of skin ship. Ohkai let's continue.

 

Let's just keep it short. I confessed to him that day because of my stupidity, and he accepts it like nothing happened. Then I found out in the next day his cousin told me that V told her, "Rio was cute.. right?". I was so fluttered and asked his cousin to ask him if he wants to go out with me. And after that day, his cousin told me, "He didn't want to. He said he likes you 50/50 only."

I was so broken hearted, and I didn't know what happened next. I read my diary back, and I didn't know the story after that because I didn't write on it. The only thing I knew was that I hated Girl Joowon and V. Lol. Stupid me.

Many 'misunderstood' incident happened between us two. We were so close, it's like, I think that half of our classmates would assume that we were couple. There's one of the incident, we were fighting words with each other, and our temporary school music teachers said that I WAS PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM WHILE V WAS FINN. 

I don't know, I think I really love those moments. You know when you and a guy always fight but actually you both care about each other behind those masks? That's how we both acted like. 

Ah! There's this memory which is still fresh, lingering in my mind. 

We were in the Music Room, and we all were having out March Music Test that day. I finished my test and I went down the stair (it's hard to explain how the music room looks like). I placed on the desk, and on that desk was only my paper left. I finished first hahah.

I wait in front of my classmates. My classmates were still not finished yet. I waited for them, standing, glancing at each other's face, especially V's. Then, one of my friend, a really pretty girl, ((let's just call her 'Hwa' - flower) Hwa, she went downstairs to place her paper. V followed her and went downstairs too. And my classmate, went downstairs too. Let's call her Ave.

The music room was really cold, because of the air-cond inside. I said to Ave, "It's chilly in here. Brr." and placed both of my hand on her both of her cheeks. On the corner of my eyes, I could see V, watching at my movement. 

He suddenly came and stood in front of me, and he NEARLY PLACED BOTH OF HIS HAND ON MY CHEEKS. BUT then he put his hands down and said, "Nevermind..."

Because I'm stupid and a fool, plus, I like where the incident is going I said without any regrets, "NO! It's fine. How about you feel my hand instead?"

BUT, because of my stupid action, I got him placed his hands on mine. Wow. I didn't regret that.

Conclusion, many memorable incident happened. It was lovely, and almost most of it made my heart flip-flop. But even a sweet, beautiful moment, can end.

 

Last year... Do you remember Hwa? That pretty girl? A-hah. Here's a thing. In 2012, I knew, that V actually have a crush on her and confessed to her, but that time I didn't really care about him liking her. Anyway, he got turned down by her.

 

In 2013, we didn't sit near to each other. We talked too, but mostly it was a talking fight. Haha, good day...

So..... I cried a lot for him... 2013... Hwa and him ...  was a couple.. I cried at the time he confessed to her. I don't know... I was so sad to me... He means a lot to me... but he just can't accept me.... In 2013... Hwa and V became close friend.... Now... 2014.... V didn't talk to me. Nearly. He .... rarely chat with me.... 

Remembering this... really hurts me a lot.... I don't know... I thought that he was going to end up with me... Sometimes,.,,,, I would cry for him... but these tears means nothing to him.... ah... the last time I cried for him is on March, where we converse with each other including his guy friend from the same class after school.. Yeah.. I smiled just now. On this year's March, after school, my guy friend or aka V's guy friend hang out --  waiting for their parents to come and pick them up at my old school's canteen, it was next to my secondary high school. We talked and talked.. but then they somehow never came back to the spot again...it hurts me a lot.. so I'm going to end it all here. Thanks for caring and reading until the end. Sorry for wasting your time. I know my life is kind of different than all of you. 

The end of this story was that... when I realize that I actually think V is a stupid guy than me. V is a harsh, jerk guy, with a high ego. I didn't like him but only a little part of me still continues to hold on with him. But actually I already moved on. Only the memories about him didn't go away. I hate V and Hwa really much now because they spend time with each other almost EVERYDAY, EVERY SECOND. Adios.

 

dumbee